when things go wrong...

When things go wrong...
You... Lord... reveal my lack of faith...

And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea,

so that the boat was being swamped by the waves;

but he was asleep. And they went and woke him saying,

"Save us, Lord; we are perishing." And he said to them,

"Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?"

Matthew 8:24-26 ESV

Trials... both small and large... reveal the need for refining... purification... of faith...

The purification comes through repentance...
the recognition of lack of faith... trust...unbelief... as sin...
the confession... of each specific moment... each revelation where your faith failed...
the choosing to turn away from unbelief... and live by faith...

After yesterday... a hard day of minor trials...
it all comes together... while praising Him for His faithfulness...

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,

slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Psalm 86:15

The trials He allows...
the hindrances of Satan...
the brokenness of the world...
all expose... unbelief in a Believer's heart...

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of  various kinds,

for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

And let steadfastness have its full effect,that you may be perfect and complete,

lacking in nothing.

James 1:2-4 ESV

The trials He allows... evidence of His love... and faithfulness...
to complete what He's begun in our hearts... perfect us...
to expose what needs to go... that we might draw nearer to Him...

What's been exposed in your heart lately...? what unbelief...?
Do you question His sovereignty and purpose...?
Do you doubt His love for you...?
Do you wonder if He can really heal...?

We are called to be faith-full...
He alone... the only one... true to His Word...
His Word of love... healing... and faithfulness...

Father God... thank You for trials that reveal unbelief...

Thank You... for the understanding of their purpose...

a refining fire... a means of revelation... and purification...

bless me with the faith and boldness to receive each difficulty

for what it truly is... a testing... of my faith... my trust... in You...

For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver.

You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.

You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water,

but you brought us to a place of abundance.

Psalm  66:11

remake... vs... repent...

The revelation fleshed out this morning... when I heard of a man leaving his family... moved out of state... which brought to mind a woman... who recently divorced her husband...

Over and over... when things go bad...
we make moves... to remake our lives...

When broken people... try to remake their lives...
they leave a trail of brokenness behind...

The major problem we have... when we try to remake...
is that we lug around our own brokenness with us...

In the words of Andy Stanley...
Everywhere you go... there you are...
and in the end... what you tried to remake...
turns into... the same old brokenness...

This is very different than what God calls us to do...
He calls us to repent...
which literally means to turn around...
make a u-turn... go back... do things differently...

When we choose to remake our lives...
we continue on the same path... same direction...
just different scenery and relationships...

God... He says...

Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out,

that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord...

Acts 3:19-20 ESV

Turn back from your way of doing things...

and begin doing things His way...

With His Way... there are blessings...

forgiveness...

refreshment...

redemption...

But our way... our own version of remaking...

leads to death...

destruction...

despair...

Only through repentance...

can we truly be redeemed...

restored... 

remade...

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.

The old has passed away; behold the new has come.

2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

How many times have you tried to remake yourself... only to end up the same... or worse... than before...?

Give up the remaking... 

turn to repentance...

Stop thinking up your own way...

come into agreement with Him...

do things His Way...

experience true redemption... 

true restoration...

right where you are...

Amen...

do i wait all the day... on Him...?

"Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all day." ---Psalm 25:5

... "On thee do I wait all the day." Patience is the fair handmaid and daughter of faith; we cheerfully wait when we are certain that we shall not wait in vain. It is our duty and our privilege to wait upon the Lord in service, in worship, in expectancy, in trust all the days of our life. Our faith will be tried faith, and if it be of the true kind, it will bear continued trial without yielding. We shall not grow weary of waiting upon God if we remember how long and how graciously he once waited for us.

---Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, July 8e

These words read this morning...
revealed facets of unbelief...
inspired confession...
and... hopefully... repentance...

I told Him... I'm tired of waiting... there's no use trying to hide it... You know already... my weariness...

And in the confession...
I hear a heart that doesn't fully trust...
I see a soul... waiting on change... not on Him...
eyes... focused on circumstance...
not on the hope... grace... or promise...

I had to ask...
Do I wait all the day... on Him...?

Well... No...
because if I did...
I would see Him...

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility

against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

Hebrews 12:3 ESV

Changing my focus...
waiting on Him...
in service...
in worship...
in joyful expectancy...

Recognizing... that when I grow weary...
I'm not trusting Him...

intimacy and repentance...

ChristianAudio.com offers a free audio-book for download each month... I highly recommend the one for this month... August... I'm just barely into chapter two... but what I've heard so far is so worth it...

The title is... The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert...

Walking... listening... the author shared... the first rule of repentance...

Do you have to feel like repenting in order to repent? ...

How do you repent for a sin that doesn't feel like sin? ...

In this crucible of confusion I learned something important. I learned the first rule of repentance, that repentance requires greater intimacy with God than with our sin.

How much greater? About the size of a mustard seed. Repentance requires we draw near to Jesus no matter what, and sometimes we all have to crawl there on our hands and our knees. Repentance is an  intimate affair and for many of us intimacy with anything is a terrifying prospect. ...

I discovered that the Lord doesn't change my feelings until I obey Him.

---Rosario Champagne Butterfield

I love the way she connects intimacy with God and repentance...

No wonder Jesus tells us the greatest commandment is...

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart 

and with all your soul and with all your mind. ..."

Matthew 22:37 ESV

When we love Him with all of us... there is no room for anything else...

To love God... to draw near Him... be intimate with Him... means we lay down our own desires... lay down our own feelings... understandings... of what we believe is right and wrong... and give it all to Him... come into agreement with Him about sin...

This is love for God: to obey his commands.

1 John 5:3

I too have discovered... that He changes our feelings... when we obey Him... even when we don't feel like obeying...

Even when what we think is just fine... feels good... doesn't seem to be hurting anybody... but He says it's sin... when we obey... we begin to understand His feelings on the issue...

All sin... is harmful to us...

harmful to our relationship with God...

and that's why He longs for us to be free from sin...

And... no... we don't get to define sin...

only God gets to do that...

and He shares the truth with us in His Word...

This unlikely convert... the author of the audio-book... as an English professor... spent much time in the Bible...  even before she believed...

She came to know... what I've experienced too...

time in His Word... transforms... a person...

and when we surrender to Him... and His Word...

the change is amazing...

Be intimate with God...

spend time in His Word...

obey His Word...

repent...

Do not merely listen to the word,

and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

James 1:17

Intimacy and repentance... choices we make... to love God....

seeing... hope...

A daily prayer journal... instructs during the time of confession...

Ask God to reveal sins you need to turn from. 

Confess. Repent.

I asked... and was convicted by the answer...

Hopelessness...

Yes... I tend to be a pessimist... a pragmatist...

Hope-full... is a place I fall short...

After confession... I seek repentance... How do I make this u-turn...?

And I recognize... it is done... by faith...

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for,

conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1 ESV

All the things for which I hope... for me... family... friends... church... are currently unseen... hidden... by time...

The image that comes to mind... is a seed... planted... underground... unseen... in the dark...

So I look at the nothing... put my hope in Him... and thank Him for the work He is doing... in the unseen... 

Lord... I can't wait to see what You bring forth...

from this darkness...

Hope... is only hope... when it is unseen...

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Romans 8:25 ESV

There's the rub... patience... 

Impatience... continues to raise its head... 

as I wait... 

           and wait... 

                     and wait...

The picture of God at work in the unseen... underneath the surface... bringing life... and growth... as only He can... fuels... my... hope...

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Romans 15:13 ESV

Amen...!

pride-full vanity...

So I see it now...
my obedience... a source of pride...
a pretty pathetic thing to be pride-full about...

A revelation... that sets me... free...

Free in the fact... it's not about me...
Free from striving...
Free to be...
Free to rest... in Him...

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:

"In repentance and rest is your salvation,

in quietness and trust is your strength..."

Isaiah 30:15 NIV

Lord Jesus... thank You for opening my eyes... to my pride-full vanity... thank You... for setting me free... through repentance... and rest... to pursue You... in quietness... and trust...

significant...

Yes... three days... 72 hours... is a significant amount of time... a lot can transpire... in three days...

Abraham... on his journey to the mountains of Moriah... the place God called him to sacrifice Isaac... his only son... the son of promise... had three days to think... three days to wonder... reason... consider... his act of obedience...

He considered that God was able 

even to raise [Isaac] from the dead...

Hebrews 11:19 ESV

These days of preparation... consideration... secret time in God's presence on the journey... brought him to the place where he could say to the servants traveling with them...

"Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."

Genesis 22:5 NIV

(my emphasis)

...and to his son... who saw the wood and fire... but no lamb... 

"God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering..."

Genesis 22:8 NIV

(emphasis mine)

Jonah... (not Noah)... blessed with three days of seclusion inside a great fish... three days where only God knew where he was... only God could hear... 

Jonah had time to be...

Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God 

from the belly of the fish, saying, 

"I called out to the Lord, out of my distress, 

and he answered me; 

out of the belly of Sheol I cried, 

and you heard my voice. 

... 

Those who pay regard to vain idols 

forsake their hope of steadfast love. 

But I with the voice of thanksgiving 

will sacrifice to you; what I vowed I will pay. 

Salvation belongs to the Lord!"

Jonah 2:1-9 ESV

Time to reconsider... repent... 

And the Lord spoke to the fish,and it vomited Jonah out upon dry land. Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time, saying, "Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it the message that I tell you." So Jonah arose and went to Nineveh, according to the word of the Lord.

Jonah 2:10-3:3 ESV

Jesus... three days buried... after declaring...

"It is finished."

John 19:20 ESV

Three days... known only to the Father... in which He began the process of redemption... the good news still hidden in the earth...

For Christ died for sins once for all, 

the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.

He was put to death in the body 

but made alive by the Spirit, through whom also

he went and preached to the spirits in prison, 

who disobeyed long ago when God waited patiently

in the days of Noah while the ark was being built

1 Peter 3:18-20

(emphasis mine)

After three days... He is risen... good news unwrapped... 

the power of the revelation continues to this day...

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

Romans 6:4 ESV

Three days... a significant time for retreating...

a journey... to consider... all the possibilities...

secluded... to receive revelation... and a need for repentance...

a re-membering... of the resurrection... and newness of life...

A lot can transpire in three days... I expect it will take longer to process what has been worked in... but what I do know...

He must increase,

but I must decrease.

John 3:30 ESV

Thank You Lord... for three days... 72 hours... to retreat...

[Note... Yes... there was a significant error on the post... retreating... Noah was NOT in the great fish... Jonah was... it has been corrected... goes to show how much I needed to retreat... thank God for His grace...]

a lesson on worship

What have you learned about worship from your reading of Luke?

---William H. Willimon, Making Disciples: Mentor's Guide 

An exercise... in preparation for confirmation... mentoring a student... on worship...

Just nine chapters into Luke... and I wonder... What have I learned...?

Or really... reviewing my Luke Journal... I see what can be learned...

And I find God worthy of worship...

For with God nothing is ever impossible

and no word from God shall be without power

or impossible of fulfillment.

Luke 1:37 Amp

Also... those who worship... they follow... seek to get near...

And all the multitude were seeking to touch Him...

Luke 6:19 Amp

But the thing that really caught my attention... 

hearts must be prepared... 

And all the people who heard Him, even the tax collectors, acknowledged the justice of God [in calling them to repentance and in pronouncing future wrath on the impenitent], being baptized with the baptism of John.

But the Pharisees and the lawyers [of the Mosaic Law] annulled and rejected and brought to nothing God's purpose concerning themselves, by [refusing and ] not being baptized by John.

Luke 7:29-30 Amp

John... the Baptizer... came to prepare the way for the Lord... offering a baptism of repentance... and forgiveness... a preparation of hearts... to receive... and believe... and worship... the Messiah...

And I see... those who do not embrace their need... their wretchedness... their sin... will never worship... Him...

Acknowledgement of sin... the key to worship...

Accepting the impossibility... of self-salvation... required... for worship...

And I realize... no amount of teaching... or knowledge... can inspire one to worship Him... just look at the Pharisees... much knowledge... but He just filled them with murderous indignation... not songs of praise...

Self-righteousness... self-help... self-discipline... all useless... when it comes to preparing a heart for Him... only Truth... and Light... can make the Way... for worship...

Prepare the way for the Lord, make His beaten paths straight.

...

And all mankind shall see (behold and understand and at last acknowledge) the salvation of God...

Luke 3:4, 6 Amp

feeling like a failure...?

I feel like I've failed...

The words of a loved one... looking back over Christmas break... his good intentions... gone undone...

I feel like I haven't done anything...

I look back and see... one who spent time filled with joy... pursuing relationships... and hear... the often repeated word... Fantastic...!

failure... a tough feeling... a harsh word... a word of condemnation... judgment...

The One who came... the One whose birth we just celebrated... did not come to judge... or condemn...

...there is now no condemnation 

for those who are in Christ Jesus...

Romans 8:1

He did not come to stomp... crush... our spirits...

"... A bruised reed he will not break,

and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out...."

Isaiah 42:3

The enemy... he taunts with words of failure... accusation... stealing joy... sapping strength... for the coming season...

"... The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..."

John 10:10

Now... it's not that Jesus doesn't rebuke... convict... when it comes to sin... but His voice comes with love... life... and an invitation to repent... an invitation... to something better...

Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

Mark 10:21

The enemy... tries to steal what has been given... for rest... growth... preparation... and use it to discourage... taint memories and blessings of a holy season...

Are you feeling like a failure...? as you look over the last year...? intentions... plans... gone unmet... undone...?

The voice you hear is not His... it's the one who wants to steal... what's been given...

Listen to the One who invites... who loves... and works... all things... for the good of those who love Him... who have been called according to His purpose...

Put away your intentions... and resolutions... repent... and hear His invitation...

Follow Me...

learning to live... shame-less...

Shame-less... free from shame...

For so long... I've been walking under the influence of shame...

Uncomfortable... with His call on my life... self-conscious...

How awful... to be so uncomfortable... with what He calls me to... simply because I would prefer a person to call me to the task... validate... what I do...

It's much easier to explain the why of the doing by saying: So-and-so asked me to... rather than... God asked me to...

Minimizing His call in my life... like it's not enough... like it's a stigma...

How truly shame-full... is that...?!

Worrying whether others think I'm raising myself up...

But now... this pouring out... this humble act of self-promoting... has begun to free me... from the fear of man...

Freeing because... to self-promote... I must die to self...

I see now... REPENT NOW... of my shame-full attitude... of the works He has called me to...

The act of obedience... telling others... at His prompting... has revealed my shame of Him... in all it's glory... and has taught me... to release the fear of man... fully embrace fear of Him... and be shame-less...

Thank-full for the lesson...
His grace...
His forgiveness...

Really... it's just too much...

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;

his greatness no one can fathom.

Psalm 145:3

[Related fare...

taking the next step... with fear and trembling...

a new release...

pouring out...]

revival... does not happen... without repentance...

A spirit... soul... cannot be revived... refreshed... without a recognition of sin... and a turning from it...

We pray for revival... for churches... friends... family... whether it be a renewed relationship with God the Father through Christ by way of the Spirit... or it be an initiating of the relationship that raises the dead... but sometimes I think we forget... what must come first... repentance...

Repentance... can't happen without sin being revealed... acknowledged... and grieved over...

How often do we pray for revival in the life of a loved one... but as pain and strife enter their lives... we pray for healing... removal of the difficulty... release... escape... when this might be the pain... or difficulty... God has allowed... to get their attention... capture their heart...?

Unfortunately... pain... grief... despair... coming to the end of ourselves in it... is often the sole experience that brings us to our knees...

Some wandered in desert wastelands,

finding no way to a city where they could settle.

They were hungry and thirsty,

and their lives ebbed away.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,

and he delivered them from their distress.

He led them by a straight way

to a city where they could settle.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love

and his wonderful deeds for men,

for he satisfies the thirsty

and fills the hungry with good things.

Some sat in darkness and deepest gloom

prisoners suffering in iron chains,

for they had rebelled against the words of God

and despised the counsel of the Most High.

So he subjected them to bitter labor;

they stumbled, and there was no one to help.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,

and he saved them from their distress.

He brought them out of darkness and deepest gloom

and broke away their chains.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love

and his wonderful deeds for men,

for he breaks down gates of bronze

and cuts through bars of iron.

Psalm 107:4-16

(emphasis added)

Perhaps our prayer... for those in pain... should be for them to cry out to the Lord in their trouble... for His purpose in the pain to be realized... for His will to be accomplished... in the unseen realm...

And for those of us struggling... like me over the last week or so... be open... to the Spirit... to counsel... reveal... and be willing... to grieve... turn... and... receive...

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

James 4:7-10

As hard as it is... to endure... or watch others suffer... we need to seek God... in His Sovereignty... ask Him how to pray... ask Him... to help us focus on the eternal... and not just... the needs of the flesh...

For what is seen is temporary,

but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:18

Do you know someone who's suffering...? are you...?

How might you pray... in a way... that transforms... hearts... for eternity...? and His glory...?

recognizing a destructive emotion

Regret... verb...to mourn the loss or death of... to be sorry for...

Mourn the loss... or death... of opportunities missed...

Sorry for... the way things were handled... or ignored...

Regret... noun... sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one's control or power to repair...

An emotion that can trap... drag you into a pit... of self-pity...

I recognize it creeping in... thought-patterns that replay... "If I had only..."... "I should have done things differently..."

The read on the treadmill... spoke of worry... which I connected to thoughts of regret...

I wasted many years of my life worrying about things that I could do nothing about. I would like to have those years back and be able to approach them in a different way. However, once you have spent the time God has given you, it is impossible to get it back and do things another way.  

---Joyce Meyer, Battlefield of the Mind

Regret... from poor choices... in the past... that cannot be changed... whether the regret comes just seconds after a word leaves your mouth... or... years later watching adult children struggle with life... wondering whether past parenting... is the cause...

Nothing can change the past...

But God... He is in the present...

Regret... a total waste of time... (you will only regret... wallowing in regret...)

Conviction... repentance... these are emotions... to act on... these prepare a heart for change... prepare the Way for Him to transform...

Today... I'm wrestling... with... regret... and praying to be... a godly woman... one pictured in Scripture...

Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]! She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.

Proverbs 31:25-27 Amp

(emphasis added)

This... is a godly woman... whose hope is in Christ alone...

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 5:5

Lord Jesus... I choose to put my hope in You alone... trusting You will not disappoint... and work all things for good... even regrets... I cast those on You today... commit my way to You... and wait expectantly for You to act...

My soul, wait thou only upon God;

For my expectation is from him.

Psalm 62:5 KJV

clean hearts... they are created...

Psalm 51:10-17 NLT

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.

Do not banish me from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.

Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you.

Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.

Unseal my lips, O Lord, that my mouth may praise you.

You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering.

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

Create... in me... a clean heart... O God...

create... it's what the Creator does... and it's by His work... of creation... that we receive a clean heart... in place of the old...

The Creator... He created man... from the dust... the dirt... of the earth...

He will not reject... a broken heart... because that is where He gets the dirt... to create the clean... pure... heart...

Our hearts... far from clean... Sin... dirtying up... hardening... our hearts... to the point of... breaking...

A breaking that happens... when the realization sinks in... I cannot clean up my heart... He must create it anew...

In the brokenness... of repentance... He sees... the raw material... to create... something new... clean... and good...

Only He... through His Son... by His Spirit... takes the mess we've made... and creates... the clean...

Thank You, Lord... for taking the pieces of my broken heart... and creating one that is clean... You will not despise... a broken... repentant... heart... 

a lesson... in what it feels like... to trust...

Today... I had a massage...

A completely relaxing experience... I hadn't been so relaxed in a long time... if ever... at least not consciously...

She moved my arms... each completely loose in her hands...
Head... neck... shoulders... rested fully in her hands... as she pressed... lifted... rotated...

And yes... I enjoyed it... even as she pressed... on painful... tender... knotted.... muscles... I didn't flinch... or tense... knowing the end result would be... good...

Near the end of the hour... He began to speak... Why do you trust... relax... in the hands of a complete stranger... but you do not fully rest... in My hands... with My call... on your life...?

Tears... welling... conviction... stinging... the therapist finished... Take your time getting up...

Left alone... on the table... relaxed... resting...
I confessed... to being tense... stiff-necked...
at the touch of His hand...
Repentance began... searching a heart... that doesn't trust... and cringes when He presses... on painful places... in need of healing...

The heart of a scripture came to mind... remembering the meaning of the Hebrew... but not the word... I got up from the table... and dressed...

In the car... Bible in hand... I turned to Psalm 37 and saw the word underlined in verse 4...

Delight yourself in the Lord

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Delight... the Hebrew... it means... soft and pleasing to the touch, or sensitive to be touched... according to the Dictionary of Biblical Languages... and Strong's Exhaustive Concordance says... the primitive root... means... to be soft or pliable...

My understanding... and experience... leads me to my own translation... a Word made flesh...

Make yourself sensitive to the touch of the Lord... be pliable in His hands... delight... in the work He is doing in your life... and He will give you... the desires of your heart...

I wonder... how many desires... have I delayed... or lost a chance at all together... because of my stiff-necked... worrisome... fear-filled... argumentative... nature...?

Lord... forgive me... teach me... to rest my life... my spirit... in Your hands... to delight... at Your call... and touch... trusting You... and the good... You promise... 

In repentance and rest is your salvation,

in quietness and trust is your strength...

Isaiah 30:15

be careful... ask and you receive...

A question asked... an answer revealed... repentance required...

In response to James...

You ask and don't receive because you ask with wrong motives,

so that you may spend it on your evil desires.

James 4:3

HCSB

I asked... 

Can there be a wrong motive for everything... what about salvation for a loved one...? 

Well... apparently I can... a desire for a Christ-centered spouse... skewed... not asking purely for God's glory... or for his good... but for my filling... 

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church 

and gave himself up for her...

Ephesians 5:25

ESV

Placing expectations... desires... on an unbelieving spouse... who is unable... unequipped... to love in such a way... looking for filling in the wrong place... leads to discord... and discontent...

But even with a Believing spouse... they are not the one to depend on to fill a heart full... there is only One who can do that...

Depending on any other... to fill... besides The One... is idolatry... me a spiritual adulteress... empty... grumpy... disgruntled...

A heart that has worked out security issues... years ago... turning from depending on a finite spouse for protection and safety... now must face newly discovered areas of misplaced expectations...

The struggles of the last weeks... have made me return to my Savior... now asking... allowing.... Him to be Husband...

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name;

and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,

the God of the whole earth he is called.

Isaiah 54:5

ESV

Be careful what you ask... be prepared to receive... revelations can be painful... but my hope is in the healing... the preparing of my heart for my spouse to become His...

James 4: thoughts... part 4

Read James 4

The message of adultery... idolatry... unfaithfulness to God... cuts deep... the things of this world... our own broken nature... draw us away from Him... not to...

Or do you think its without reason the Scripture says

that the Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously?

James 4:5

HCSB

God's jealousy... reveals itself in wrath... as the Scripture says...

You shall not bow down to them or worship them;

for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,

punishing the children for the sin of the fathers

to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me...

Exodus 20:5

For the Lord your God is a consuming fire,

a jealous God.

Deuteronomy 4:24

Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you;

for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a jealous God

and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you

from the face of the land.

Deuteronomy 6:14-15

Joshua said to the people, "You are not able to serve the Lord. 

He is a holy God; he is a jealous God. 

He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins. 

If you forsake the Lord and serve other gods, 

he will turn and bring disaster on you and make an end of you, 

after he has been good to you."

Joshua 24:19-20

Judah did evil in the eyes of the Lord.

By the sins they committed they stirred up his jealous anger...

1Kings 14:22

But James knows the Word of hope...

But He gives greater grace.

James 4:6

HCSB

Greater than the jealousy... the wrath... anger... that destroys... is His grace... that saves... redeems... restores... forgives...

Jesus... the source of greater grace... the One who on the cross bore the Father's jealous anger in full... the cup poured out...

Unless we know the depth of the trouble and disgrace we are in... we do not appreciate the greater grace that has been poured out for us... by His blood...

Yes... as great and as awe-full as His jealous wrath... is His greater grace...

Lord Jesus... today... fill me with awe an wonder of Your jealous love... and enable me to live in the joy of Your greater grace...

the woe of seeing

When the Light of Truth shines... into your own heart... revealing... sin... corruption... perversity... then seeing the Word made flesh... in yourself... can be hard...

Such truth... leads to denial... justification... laying blame... or... as God intends... confession...

"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."

Isaiah 6:5

...and repentance...

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

2Corinthians 7:10

A woe... a pain... for good... when we choose to stand in the Light... and let it do the work... of transformation...

Father God... provide the faith needed... to stand in Your Light... to receive the truth of my sin... no matter how painful... and allow You to redeem the dark... for Your glory...

breathe in... breathe out...

It amazes me how God brings things together... the redefining... of do... and breath... built on one another... connected through His leading... in my reading...

The spiritual practices... exercises... that God calls us to... that seem like nothing to many... are essential to our walk of faith... our walk with the Spirit...

It is through these exercises of meditating on God's Word... eating it... praying it... listening with expectation... submitting... that we grow... in relationship with our Savior... and become forces for God... in a broken world...

As I read over lunch yesterday... wondering what God was telling me about breath... a heading caught my attention... Spiritual Breathing...

The teaching of Bill Bright helped me learn to become a follower who is filled with the Spirit. He teaches a spiritual exercise called "Spiritual Breathing." The basic idea is that you live with a moment by moment awareness of the Spirit until walking in the Spirit becomes as natural --- as habitual --- as breathing. It's just part of who you are. Here's how it works: the moment you become aware of sin in your life you exhale. When you exhale, you breathe out and repent of your sin. Repentance becomes a natural response and clears out space in our hearts for the Spirit to fill us. So the moment you are prideful, jealous, lustful, harsh, selfish, impatient, you exhale and repent of your sin. ... And then you inhale. When you inhale you breathe in and pray to be filled with the Spirit and you surrender control over to him. As you practice this spiritual breathing it teaches you to keep in step with the Spirit. Followers live with a continual awareness of the Spirit's presence and a constant prayer to be filled with his power.

---Kyle Idleman, not a fan.

When we surrender to God's Sovereignty... we no longer just have our breath to attest to His rule over us... we receive His Spirit... the Holy Spirit... who empowers us to do all He calls us to... things we are incapable of on our own... through Him we bear real fruit...

...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

The only way to live a godly life... is by the power of the Spirit...

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

Galatians 5:25

ESV

Keep in step with the Spirit... one breath at a time... breathe in... breathe out...

James 1: thoughts... part 5

Read James 1

It always happens... I should have known... been on guard...

When learning... studying... the Word... there is always a test... this week I failed... it was a pop quiz... me unprepared...

My dearly loved brothers, understand this:

Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak...

James 1:19

HCSB

(my emphasis)

The failing grade revealed last night seeking a reason for the silence... the unscheduled test apparently taken the night before... unbeknownst to me...

My grade: cruel... biting... crushing...

No intentional malice meant on my part... thinking back... trying to remember the exact words... but clearly I failed... to hear...

I didn't truly hear that his words were coming from the heart... words previously unshared... no perception of the exposed heart... or consideration... to where his words came from...

Everyone must be quick to hear.... F

Words from me... without thought... without intention... just speaking on my own... a conversation that seemed light... silly... my own foolish words added...

...slow to speak... F

Tears followed... forgiveness sought... from Him... and from him...

Before we slept... forgiveness granted... but... the harm I did left wounds... how quickly will they heal...? When will I be trusted again... with words from the heart...?

This morning... in the reading through...

The wise of heart will recieve commandments,

but a babbling fool will come to ruin.

Proverbs 10:8

ESV

The wise lay up knowledge,

but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near.

Proverbs 10:14

ESV

When words are many, transgression is not lacking,

but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Proverbs 10:19

ESV

The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable,

but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.

Proverbs 10:32

ESV

With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor,

but by knowledge the righteous are delivered.

Proverbs 11:9

ESV

Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense,

but a man of understanding remains silent.

Proverbs 11:12

ESV

A man who is kind benefits himself,

but a cruel man hurts himself.

Proverbs 11:17

ESV

Clearly... a lesson I need to take to heart... every word has power...

Reckless words pierce like a sword,

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 12:18

My dearly loved brothers and sisters... understand this... Everyone must be quick to hear... and slow to speak...

hazards of drawing near

The nearer I draw... into the Light... the more imperfections I see...

He highlights sin...

At times... what's revealed... seems so... insignificant... I rebel... it happened this week... the sin He spotlights... so trivial... I rationalize... justify... refuse to correct...

Such hardness of heart... repels me... reverses the drawing near... till I cry... weep... mourn... over the thing He calls sin...

A reminder of my sickness... a reminder of my need...

Drawing near... invites inspection... incites rejection... unless you become a receptacle for grace... unless you know... or at least desire to know... the Love of the Father...

Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned

and done what is evil in your sight,

so that you are proved right when you speak

and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,

sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;

you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Psalm 51:1-6

What do you see in your drawing near?

Do you repel...? or repent...?

Do you reject...? or receive...?

Or... have you learned to stay at a safe distance...? just out of transformation's reach...?