This book... The Heart of Bethlehem... and its promotion... have been a process of pouring out... an exercise in humility...
A drink offering... poured out before God... went on the ground... into the dirt...
In the Holy Place you shall pour out a drink offering
of strong drink to the Lord.
Numbers 28:7 ESV
The product of the vineyard... seemingly wasted... unenjoyed... by the one who produced...
For me... to pour out this book before God... is to release any potential benefits... or risks... for the flesh to Him... any accolades... any criticism... any royalties... they are not mine... but His... to do with what He pleases...
I've had to crucify my flesh... throughout this process...
You see... when I first believed... He had writing in store... a book to be published... through me... I had one view of how that might happen... through people... publishers... agents... who saw something special... and wanted me to write... work... to produce a book...
But as I listened... and tried to obey Him... attending conferences... meeting with editors... showing samples... mailing a proposal to an agent... entering a book contest... all that came back were critique... rejections...
Nobody... no person... desired me to write... for them...
God... He kept pressing... and brought before me an opportunity to step out... and self-publish an eBook...
I only moved forward... because I believed... this was a working out of the Word in me...
Every putting out deep... requires the work... of pulling up the net... to see what's within...
So I did the work... published the piece... now trying to listen... and promote... as He instructs... trying to be shameless... in this call...
What I see... is Simon Peter's putting out deep... after the miraculous haul... the great number of fish... Simon Peter saw his sin... confessed... then walked away from the catch... to follow Him...
And Jesus said to Simon, "Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men." And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him.
Luke 5:10-11 ESV
The point of the whole exercise... was not the financial gain... the temporal benefits... the catch... it was the act of obedience... the humbling of self... and the looking to Him...
Solely looking to Him... pouring out... releases me from the anxiety of the outcome... releases me... from the fear of man...
As thoughts of self... repeatedly try to creep in... I remember the pouring out... in my mind a great clay jar... pours out its contents... an act of confession... my fear of man... and the release of the outcome to Him...
What's received... in the pouring out... is the joy found... in following Him...
[Related fare...
in the Word
embracing... hard...
a new release...]
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