poor and needy...

Approaching today... as a day to catch up...

Nearing its end...
goals unmet...
messes abound...
things undone...

So much still to do...
Something urgent remembered earlier...?
has slipped my mind... therefore gone undone...

So today I embrace... that I am poor and needy...
Incapable of doing all my own loftiness would love to accomplish...

Recognition of the truth...
I am not able...
I am not organized...
I am not good at making decisions...

With joy... I embrace my neediness... my poverty...
because in Him... I find my help...
in Him alone... I find my worth...

He raises the poor from the dust

and lifts the needy from the ash heap;

he seats them with princes

and has them inherit a throne of honor.

1 Samuel 2:8

Today I come to Him... poor... and... needy...

Lord... apart from You I got nothin'...

hoping desperately... for more of You...

and less of me... in all I do...

expectancy...

Expectancy...

The word for the week... from an Advent study started last evening...

Expectancy...

Waiting for something expected...

It affects the way we live... preparations needed...

Expectancy...

Surprised by the realization of daily expectancies...
expecting my husband to return home each evening...
expecting Him to provide words for this place...
expecting the sun to rise and set...

Expectancy...

Some expectations are met... some aren't...

When expectations aren't met we often get upset...
mad...
disturbed...
flustered...

Unmet expectations can ruin our day...

Expectancy...

Expectations aren't always welcome...

Those of us who live in a glass half-empty world... always expect the worst...

Sometimes finding ourselves pleased... when expectations go unrealized...

Whew...

Expectancy...

The exercise in today's devotional... turned expectancy... on its head...

Think about the past year and identify four or five situations where God's grace surprised or encouraged you.

---Pamela C. Hawkins, Behold!

Listing His surprising graces... made me realize... my own expectations... may be less... than what He has in mind...

My own expectations... may even cause me... to miss His grace...

Especially when I settle... or fulfill... an expectation... on my own... unwilling to wait... not knowing what He has in store...

So... my prayer today...

Lord... help me lay down my own expectations...

and replace them with Yours...!

Your ways are always better...

and always worth the wait...

prodding from the pope

"Let us never yield to pessimism," [Pope Francis] said while meeting the cardinals in the Sala Clementina, "let us never yield to that bitterness which the devil offers us every day; let us not yield to pessimism or discouragement: let us be quite certain that the Holy Spirit bestows upon the Church, with his powerful breath, the courage to persevere and also to seek new methods of evangelization, so as to bring the Gospel to the uttermost ends of the earth."

---From the introduction of Francis: Pope of a New World, by Andrea Tornielli 

I read it... just before receiving an opportunity... one I could easily be pessimistic about... dismiss... with doubt's blessing...

The Pope's words make me pause... as I consider the opportunity... seeking God on what to do... seeking my heart... regarding fear... and the burial of a talent... desiring to be... a good and faithful servant... yet battling the bitterness of discouragement... and the reality of... Living Under Curse and Promise... (the title of the Bonhoeffer devotional this morning...)

Human beings in a disturbed world, between God's curse and promise, are challenged human beings. 

---Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I Want to Live These Days with You, 

July 11

No coincidence... amidst the challenge to change the thought-life... a reminder... to focus on Him... His power... His purpose... 

A time to put aside fear... consider seriously... this opportunity... to step out... cast out... deep...

My heart prays with Peter...

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied,

"tell me to come to you on the water."

Matthew 14:28

hardened hope...

The current study with sisters... has revealed a hardened hope...

The challenge to... Create a top 10 waiting list of things you've almost stopped hoping for... causes tears to spring forth... and my heart to ache...

One thing comes to mind... top of the list... a wait at least 17 years in the making... breaks my heart anew each time it's brought to my attention...

A faint hope remains... so long I've waited... my heart feels hard to the possibility... hurts too much to consider fervent prayer any longer...

I tell myself... I've laid it before Him... all I can do is wait... its up to Him whether He does... or doesn't...

A hope that feels more like doubt...

A place I need to soften with His Word... His truth...

And hope does not disappoint us, 

because God has poured out his love into our hearts 

by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 5:5

(emphasis mine)

Do you have a hope... a long wait... that feels like a disappointment in the making...?

Join me in renewing hope... stirring it up to full expectation... remembering... His hope does not disappoint... because He has poured His love... into our hearts...

Father God... bless me with hope renewed...

believing that You will not disappoint...

believing in... Your love... poured out... for me...

a week of feeling disconnected... comes to a close...

Distractions rooted in preparations for travel... two weeks away... and posts written early scheduled to post without me... arriving at destination two days behind others... while leaving one at home... then dealing with illness... pain... seeking distraction and solace... from meds... and TV... intermingled with feeble efforts to connect with Him... identify with Him... in the pain... left me feeling disconnected...

Finally... this week closes... with reconnecting...
feeling better...
finding extended time to spend with Him...
recognizing His care... through the beloved spouse...

A time away... starting off a little stormy... but even amid distractions... and disconnections... I look back and see... my faith... was not rocked... my emotions... not tossed...

My spirit... just accepted what came... looking to Him... as best I could...

For me I see... unexpected change... where previously I would have been undone... by expectations not being met... I see His grace... His faithfulness... His presence...

Where weather still borders on stormy... my soul... for the moment... is not...

Give thanks to the Lord of lords;

His love endures forever.

to him who alone does great wonders,

His love endures forever. 

Psalm 136:3-4

This past week's focus came from a waking thought... Psalm 136... a Word needed for a week of distraction... a reminder that He is Love...

Next week continues with me away... a wi-fi nomad... posts will be accordingly... and by His grace... as always...

when expectations aren't met...

Expectations... set you up for disappointment...
in relationships...
to-do lists...
in roles...

Unmet expectations...
reminders...
that I am NOT in control...

Thank God...
I know the One who is...
the One who meets...
and exceeds...
ALL expectations...

Taking the five loaves and the two fish

and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and 

broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples

to set before the people. He also divided the two fish

among them all. They all ate and were satisfied,

and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls

of broken pieces of bread and fish. The number of the men 

who had eaten was five thousand.

Mark 6:41-44

(emphasis mine)

Thank You... Lord... when I can't... You can...

when I'm not enough... You are...