bent...

A dusty book on the shelf caught my attention this morning...

On inspection... dog-eared and underlined...
I knew I'd read it... but couldn't remember when...

Browsing through the pages... a passage on revival...

Bend the church and save the world. James E. Stewart claimed that this is the secret of every true awakening. Christians must humble themselves and get right with God so that the Spirit can break through in converting power. There must be no hypocrisy; the Christian must BEND to all the will of God for his life in perfect obedience before the Spirit of God is released. When we are bent to the will of God we will be intercessors, because as He "ever lives to intercede" for His people, we will do the same if we are abiding in Him.

---Rick Joyner, Shadow of Things to Come

Revival... it's something I'd like to see...
in me... my family...
my church family...
His whole church...

So I wonder... Am I bent...? to His will...?

Driving home at dusk...
sun setting behind...
moon rising before...
sorrow... weighs...

Sorrow... at feeling more coarse... than clean...
sorrow... over His church... its division... its lack of power...
sorrow... over those who call themselves Believers... but live something completely different than the Word...

Longing to be bent to His will...
obedient to His Word...
pure in heart...

Longing for the Spirit's power to be released...
through me... through His people...

Longing... for... revival...

Where are you when it comes to being bent...?
How do you feel about the church...?
or your personal walk with Him...?

Me...?
I will pray to be bent...

Lord... bend me to Your will...

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 139:23-24 ESV

dichotomy...

Blesssed (Happy, fortunate, to be envied)

is he who has forgiveness of his transgression

continually exercised upon him,

whose sin is covered.

Psalm 32:1 Amp

My journey through the Psalms led me to this verse this afternoon... which I read immediately after...

"With His stripes, we are healed." --- Isaiah 53:5

Pilate delivered our Lord to the lictors to be scourged. The Roman scourge was a most dreadful instrument of torture. It was made of the sinews of oxen, and sharp bones were inter-twisted every here and there among the sinews; so that every time the lash came down these pieces of bone inflicted fearful laceration, and tore off the flesh from the bone. ... My soul, stand here and weep over His poor stricken body.

---Charles Spurgeon, Morning & Evening

By His wounds... we are healed...

Without His misery... we would have no blessing...

What is our proper response...?
Sorrow...? Yes...
Joy...? Yes...

Sorrow for our sin... which drove Him to such a place...
Joy for His love... which held Him in such a place...

I'm reminded of words from a song... a Christmas song...
which reflect this dichotomy...
joy... and... sorrow...
misery... and... love...

And I, I celebrate the day

That You were born to die

So I could one day pray

for You to save my life.

--- Reliant K, I Celebrate the Day

Quite a thought to enter into the evening...

Selah... pause... and think calmly of that...! 

processing... life...

Processing continues... causing distraction... and stirring up desires to live well...

Two books... one author... the reason for much of the food-processor activity in my thoughts...

N.D. Wilson... Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl... and... Death by Living...

Both have me desiring a new perspective... but... just like the processing... there are no tight... concise... quotes... found in either book which wrap up the feelings stirred...

The books themselves... a process...

Life... cosmos... turned upside down... the order of this world defines success as living life on your own terms... comfort good... pain bad... poor pitiful... rich enviable... avoid any unpleasantness...

But the Author of Life... He says... follow Me... lose your life for My sake... blessed are the poor... and those who mourn... take up your cross... undergo self-crucifixion... willingly...

This world-order... all out of order... according to the world... but to the Creator... this is the Way... to life eternal...

The Word... He said...

"...You will be sorrowful,

but your sorrow will turn to joy...."

John 16:20 ESV

This turning hinged... on His resurrection... here is where I want to live... NOW... not later... 

I've been sorrow-full... I'm ready for joy...

Here's a taste of the crazy... world-view of Wilson... and the living it out...

On exiting an international flight... his two-year old began vomiting on him as he carried him down the Jetway... his eldest son walking behind sympathy-puked... the puking continued... splattering a trail all the way to the concourse... he writes...

Holding one human fountain and dragging another, I commanded Rory not to watch his brother. It didn't matter. My oldest son polka-dotted that Jetway with pizza (imported from Seattle) at least every ten feet.

And I began to laugh. Hard. And very, very alone.

My wife and the girls were out. The crowd behind us diligently admired abstract space with glassy eyes. Dozens of business-traveling Brits attempted to erase us from existence with flat faces, but their Jedi tricks couldn't touch our hard reality.

We Wilson boys were there with flesh on, and we were hilarious. Two of us were throwing up. One of us was wheezing laughter beneath the spatter.

I laugh... hard... with him... and he goes on to share a lesson...

When faced with unpleasantness (trouble) there are only two ultimate responses (with many variations). On the one hand, "The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord." On the other, "Curse God and die." Variations on the latter can include whining, moping, self-pity, apathy, or rage. Variations of the former can include laughter, song, retellings, and an energetic attack of obstacles.

---Death by Living

The former... that's the way I want to process life... but my default is the latter...

You will be sorrowful... 

but your sorrow... will turn to joy...

Because of the Resurrection... my sorrow... can be joy... NOW... because this world is NOT my home... I'm on a journey... and the Guide... He chooses the paths... the obstacles... to get me where I'm going... and to who I'm becoming...

To receive whatever comes... as from the hand of the Father... a loving Father... presenting a gift... to help me grow...

Sounds crazy... and again... easy to say... when not in the midst of trouble... sorrow... a storm...

But this is where... how... I want to live... joy-full... even... in... the throes of trouble...

Father God... You are the Taker and Giver of all good things... the One who works all things for good... help me to begin now... facing the little troubles... with the attitude of Your loving hand behind it all... so when the larger storms arise... I will be prepared... to trust You... the power of the Resurrection and the Life... to see me through... and turn... my sorrow... to joy...

[Note: A new Quote Du Jour has been posted... take a look just under Receive Jeremiah's Menu by Email... another small taste of N.D. Wilson... ]