does it matter...?

The thought flashed through my mind today...
Does it matter...?
The it of Bible study writing...
blogging on two blogs...
prepping for prayer...

And really... I know what brought on the thought...
weariness...
driving home from the shop...
but my day not yet done...

When the work is all unseen...
really nothing to show for it...
nothing tangible... visible...
except words on paper...
when the world is all about work that earns...
work that accomplishes something visible...
sometimes... it's hard... to think you're really doing anything...
when it comes to things of the Spirit...

But just as quickly as the question popped in my mind...
Jesus's story of the sower answered my question...

"A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell along the path

and was trampled underfoot, and the birds of the air devoured it. And some

fell on the rock, and as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture.

And some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up with it and choked it.

And some fell into good soil and grew and yielded a hundred fold."

Luke 8:4-8 ESV

If you're familiar with this story Jesus told...
you know He reveals to His disciples...
The seed is the Word of God...

So He said to me...
You're sowing seed...

Sowing seeds of faith...

not knowing where they land...

or if they'll grow...

is something only God sees...

for now...

And the enemy... prompts the question...

Does it matter...?

and my flesh pipes in...

I don't know...? does it...?

But the Spirit says...

And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap,

if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9 ESV

Thus the nature of faith...

the assurance of things hoped for...

the conviction of things unseen...

overwhelmed...

Can I just say... He overwhelms...

These last two days... I've experienced two intense... spiritual encounters... which have just left me... overwhelmed...

One a spiritual battle...
a quick prayer in the midst...
wondering what to say in the moment...

The words spoken in the course of the conversation... left me shaking...
words from my mouth... hopefully... inspired by Him...
words of correction... and truth...

As the conversation closed... I asked...
Can I pray for you...?
Their answer an abrupt... No ma'am...
and a quick departure...

The second encounter... a spiritual revelation...
steps of obedience taken...
to offer comfort to a friend...

Hearts shared...
encouragement given...
truth spoken in love...

The conversation leaving me humbled...
wondering who I am...
as I recognize His ability to use me for good...
amazed... He includes me in His work...

I confess to the friend... I'm empty... I have nothing to share... the only good that comes from me... is Him... She replies... You are a good vessel...

The picture leaves me broken...
feeling like that fragile clay jar...
which can hardly hold together...
much less contain Him...

Overwhelmed...
wondering at the weariness...
of allowing Him to work through...

A good weariness...
but weary... none the less...

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"

has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge

of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay,

to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

2 Corinthians 4:6-7 ESV

How has He overwhelmed you lately...?
Take a moment to think about it as you listen to the song below...

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tension...

The intense season of stretching faith seems to be drawing to a close...

The last full week of Bible study days written and in the hands of the ladies... only one final lesson to write...

But today... the release of tension... makes me feel a bit like a tent whose pegs have come loose... saggy... dragging...

Constant stretching... then release... makes me feel more acutely the weariness...

The challenge now... create tension... persevere...
it is not yet time to totally relax...
there is still much to do... much He has to do...

Still trusting Him to provide the words... teaching... time... energy for everything He calls me to do... and now willingly press on... by faith... to remain diligent... even in the release...

I press on toward the goal...

Philippians 3:14

it's a battle out there...!

It's a battle out there...!
And today... I felt its weight...

Lost screws...
rowdy sixth graders...
a prayer campaign... to uproot the enemy...
leaves me a weary warrior...

Asking Him this morning... regarding a dis-ease... How long will this last...?

His answer... It will get worse... before it gets better...

And it echos now... the battle of the day... It will get worse... before it gets better...

"...All these are but the beginning of the birth pains. ..." ---Jesus

Matthew 24:8 ESV

On the way home... in the dark... a song reminds... that in it all... through it all... His grace... finds me...

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Breathing in Your grace... Breathing out Your praise...

You are my Strong Tower...!

You are my Strength and my Shield...!

Amen...