a day of inner conflict...

A day of outer conflict...
has led to a day of inner conflict...

Fighting the urge to complain...
and to let others have their way...

Resisting the temptation to give in to irritation...

Being OK... with unexpected errands...
and no quiet in my day...
has been a challenge...

As I write...
I see I'm having trouble loving others today...
as He defines love...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,

it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude,

it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight

in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects,

always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

It's been a struggle to love today...

Constantly I've prayed...

turned to Him... for peace...

for strength... 

to keep my mouth shut...

to be thank-full...

to think of others more than myself...

Yes... it's been a struggle to love today...

What have you struggle with...?

He's there to help... to strengthen... to guide...

you just need to recognize your need...

ask...

and receive...

Amen...

when conflict leads to doubt...

Conflict... I had some this morning...
it wasn't extreme... not Jerry Springer-esque...
but disquieting... nonetheless...

In an effort to encourage a loved one with His Word... and reminders... I found myself up against a hard heart... a spirit seemingly closed off to His Word...

The whole experience... triggered doubt...

All day... I doubted...
my motives...
my obedience...
Had I really heard Him...?
Or was I manufacturing what I wanted to say...?
Did I use His name in vain...?
Saying it was Him... when it wasn't...?

Conflict... can lead to doubt...
even when beforehand we were certain...
of what we heard Him calling us to do...

The funny thing is... as I prepared for this writing... I pulled out a journal... one I don't write in often... to put down some words... so I wouldn't forget...

...when conflict leads to doubt...

With these words in my mind...
running on a loop...
I opened the journal to write...

What I found in search of the next blank page...
was the last thing I wrote...

A quote... one I heard a month or so ago...
one I was moved to record...

Conflict is a confirmation that you are doing the right thing.

---John MacArthur, Grace to You

Really...?!
I had to laugh...
God... He's just too funny...

Was this His answer...? to my day of restless seeking...?

Moving past doubt... into faith...
I receive this coincidence... as providence...

Maybe... just maybe...
the conflict comes as a result of a loved one's hard heart...
and not from my attempt to manipulate...

Maybe... just maybe...
there's an enemy... whispering into this loved one's ear...
lies... deception... defiance...

Maybe... just maybe...
I have acted in faith...

Trusting Him...
with hearts...
both mine...
and those with whom I conflict...

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 139 23-24 ESV

wheat among weeds...

Taking steps around the church house...
my heart became heavy...
burdened by conflict within the church...

Unsure how to pray...
wondering whether to ask Him to weed it out...

I gave the burden up to the Spirit...
He who intercedes with groanings...
the echo of what was in my heart...
groanings...

In that moment... a parable came to mind...

The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field, but while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat and went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared also. And the servants of the master of the house came and said to him, "Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have weeds?" He said to them, "An enemy has done this." So the servants said to him, "Then do you want us to go and gather them?" But he said, "No, lest in gathering the weeds you root up the wheat along with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Gather the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn." ---Matthew 13:24-30 ESV

Wheat and weeds growing together...
weeding out not an option...
some good wheat may be lost in the process...

The heavy heart grows heavier...
a reality since the beginning of His people...
the enemy sowing weeds...
weeds growing fruit...
the fruit of conflict...

I feel the sorrow of the Owner of the field...
looking out over the good He planted...
infiltrated with weeds...
knowing He must watch... wait...
until the time of harvest...

In reviewing the parable... conviction takes hold...
Do you see it...?
The enemy only had a chance to sow evil...
because His men were sleeping...!

His people slept... became complacent...
let the enemy get a foothold...
now... we wait too...
among the weeds...

In my stepping around the church house...
I asked...
Then how do we be zealous for Your Church...
braiding whips... turning tables... like Him...?

What I sensed was an answer...
Zealous intercession through prayer...
Pour out grace...
Be light...

A hard place to be...
wheat... among... weeds...

The Journey Readings: Week 56... and conflict...

The effective spreading of the Gospel... the good news grace... seems to always stir up conflict...

In Philippi... Paul freed an annoying slave girl from a spirit of divination... she became useless to her owners... no longer able to tell the future...

Conflict arose... resulting in Paul and his companion receiving a beating... and imprisonment... (Acts 16:16-24)

When released... Paul and those with him had to leave Philippi...

They went to Thessalonica...  where Paul preached until the unbelieving Jews became jealous... stirred up a crowd and hunted him down...

Not finding thim... Paul's host was arrested...

Paul and his friends left town under the cover of darkness... (Acts 17:1-10)

In Beroea... Paul successfully influenced many in the synagogue... who tested his words against Scripture... and believed...

But when those unbelievers in Thessalonica heard about it... they came to cause trouble for Paul...

Some Believers escorted Paul out of town... all the way to Athens... (Acts 17:10-15)

In Corinth... Paul's preaching again stirred up some to belief... and some to outrage...

Those outraged united to attack Paul... and haul him into court...

But when the proconsul discovered it was a religious matter... he refused to hear the case... (Acts 18:12-17)

In Ephesus... Paul's preaching was so effective... Demetrius the silversmith and maker of idols... felt his business threatened and stirred up a riot...

It was so volatile... Paul's friends refused to let him enter to speak to those opposed to the Gospel...

After the uproar died down... brought to an end by the town clerk... Paul encouraged the disciples... and left town... again... (Acts 19:23-41)

Spreading of the Gospel... stirs up conflict...

These men who have turned the world upside down...

Acts 17:6 Amp

Affirmation that we live in a world at war... two kingdoms clashing... His... and the enemies...

His ways are not the world's ways... and when His Kingdom comes to those entrenched in the world's way... it feels... as if the world is being turned... upside down...

Have you had your own personal conflict with Him...? has He turned your world upside down...?

Or have you turned someone else's world upside down...? by sharing the good news grace...?

It's inevitable... when the Gospel is preached... effectively...

"If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own;

but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world,

therefore the world hates you. ..." ---Jesus

John 15:18-19 ESV

Find out more... about His upside down ways... join The Journey...

This week's readings...
Monday             Acts 21:1-36
Tuesday            Acts 21:37 - 23:11
Wednesday       Acts 23:12 - 24:27
Thursday          Acts 25:1 - 26:11
Friday               Acts 26:12 - 27:38