learning respect... concluding thoughts...

The teaching on...

R... revere...
E... engage...
S... stand at the crossroads and look...
P... pure...
E... earnest...
C... choice...
T... today...

... began... when God... shined His Light... in a dark corner... of my heart...

I marvel... at the grace offered... bringing Light... revealing... faults... unplowed ground... sin...

He could have left me brooding... undeserving of insight... and teaching... after so many years... failing... stumbling... again... and... again...

But Jesus... when asked...

Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother 

when he sins against me? Up to seven times?... 

He answers... with His Father's heart...

"I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

Matthew 18:22

... seventy-seven times... can also be translated... seventy times seven... the NIV commentary says... this idiom means... always.... Jesus... He says... Don't forgive just seven times... but always...

Jesus... the direct representation of His Father... always... forgives...

An amazing grace... to not just forgive... but to teach... and not just with words... but with illustrations... in your face... daily... live... illustrations...

This teaching... on... R... E... S... P... E... C... T... has been such a grace... and brought about... what seems to be... feels like... real transformation... in me... a much needed teaching... straight from my Father...

Now... I don't know... if it was helpful to you... or to anyone... (well one I know... because she told me)... but the lesson I want you to see... is God... He cares... when you run to the dark... out of the Light... He's there... waiting... to teach... if you will ask...

Perhaps... if you asked Him to teach you...

R... E... S... P... E... C... T... 

... each letter might be revealed differently to you... tailor-made... for your specific... heart... issues...

So my encouragement to you...
be open... always... to the Word...
an ear... continually tuned... to the Spirit...
eyes... sensitive... to the Light...
in order to receive... the teaching you need...

And maybe... you can share it with me...

His Word is a lamp to our feet... and a light to our path...

learning respect... part 6...

God... He didn't make me wait for the final letter... in the teaching... whose genesis... came... in the dark...

Yesterday... in the midst of writing the C...

R... revere...
E... engage...
S... stand at the crossroads and look...
P... pure...
E... earnest...
C... choice...
T

... the T... was revealed...

Today

The time... is now... today...

There is no waiting... for a husband... to earn... respect... God says...

...the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33

(emphasis added)

Today... is the day to begin... 

When we exercise... respect... by faith... we wield the God-given tool... that encourages... our husbands... as Adams... to become the men... the keepers... God created them... to be... turning them into... men... we... will... respect...

Respect... it flourishes... in the present... where we find... His presence... 

Our God... He is a present-tense God... the Great... I AM... 

There is no benefit... to being guilt-ridden... by all the opportunities... missed... to encourage... with respect... guilt it paralyzes... and condemnation... is not found... in Christ...

There is no benefit... in waiting... for tomorrow... or... for the moment... when you feel like respecting...  

Obedience... to a command... does not require... feelings... 

So as the Holy Spirit says:

"Today if you hear his voice,

do not harden your heart

as you did in the rebellion,

during the time of testing in the desert. ..."

Hebrews 3:7-8

(my emphasis)

The test... it comes in the desert... the wilderness... where it's hard... when you hear Him speak... 

Do it NOW... waiting... hardens your heart... turns it... into a wasteland... 

To wait... once you know... when you've heard... that's rebellion... and leads to an extra... 40 years... in the desert...!

It is an act of faith... to hear... and obey... especially... when you don't feel like it... 

Today... now... in this moment... is where the Great... I Am... is found... there is no... What if...? there is ONLY... What is...

The past... it requires... confession... repentance... and confidence... in forgiveness... and grace... and His power to work all... for the good... of those who love Him...

The future... is... yet to be written... paths not yet chosen... words not yet spoken... thoughts that can be taken captive... for His glory... 

Faith... exercised... today... stands on His promise... to empower His people... to do... what He calls them to...

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

2 Peter 1:3

Humble yourself... before God... today...

Confess... that you are unable... to respect... your husband...

He is faithful... to enable...

Father God... I thank You... for Your teaching...

root it in my heart... for Your glory...

learning respect... part 5...

The C... it came slowly... difficult to hear...

For me... in waiting for a teaching to continue...

R... revere...
E... engage...
S... stand at the crossroads and look...
P... pure...
E... earnest...
C
T

... is the temptation to rush... to go ahead... to figure it out on my own... doubts rising... the end so close... Will He continue to teach...?

I asked... for more revelation... but... then it's like I tried to guess what will be next... impatient... "c" words... tumbled through my brain... I don't want my word... but Yours...

Then it came... quietly...

Choice...

Respect... is a choice... once we stand and consider the outcome of our behavior... respect vs disrespect... we must choose...

Yesterday... I made a choice... a portion of the definition of respect... came to mind...

...to refrain from interfering with...

As my husband did a job... for me... just... for... me... on Saturday morning... my spirit... was continually reminded... 

...do not interfere...

Now understand... this was a job I wanted done... a change that I physically couldn't make myself... one that took hours... and really benefited no one but me...

And it was a job... I had to let my husband do... his way... out of respect... I did not interfere...

But as I stood by and let him do... the phrase... it echoed... do not interfere...

The Spirit doesn't tell you anything unless you need to hear it... the Counselor... giving the encouragement you need...

The Spirit didn't repeatedly tell Joshua... Be strong and courageous... because he was... it was because that's what he needed to be reminded...  to be... what he did not feel... as he led God's people... into the Promised Land...

So yesterday... that is what I needed to hear... Why...? Because I wanted... to... interfere... to direct... to help... to say... I have a better way...

I realized... how disrespectful... I have been over the years... interfering... in places where he asked for no help...
telling stories...
driving from point A to point B...
various jobs around the house...

The lesson of respect... as a choice... making an impact... do not interfere...

And I was blessed... my husband... he went way beyond... what I asked... and expected... him to do...

In that choice... my respect... for my husband... magnified... enlarged... grew...

Respect... is a choice...

When divinely directed... from a pure heart... with a focus on entering a promised land... in marriage... mindful... of God's plan... and desire... the choice... to respect... is blessed...

Lord... I'm blown away... by Your teaching... Your thoughts... too wonderful... to me...

learning respect... part 4...

God... in His faithfulness... continues to teach... lessons... from struggles... in the dark...

R... revere...
E... engage...
S... stand at the crossroads and look...
P... pure
E
C
T

The second E... it came this morning...

Earnest...

Another trip... to the dictionary... (I have a friend who says... it's a holy book... the Merriam-Webster's... the way a simple definition... when we take the time to look... adds depth and increases understanding... of the Word... divinely inspires...)

earnest -- characterized by or proceeding from an intense and serious state of mind; grave, important

Respect... is not just outward... it begins with a thought process... an intense... serious... state of mind...

We often minimize the influence of our thoughts... I was just thinking... some not even realizing... that thought leads to action... or that we can control our thoughts... what we think...

Respect... is forged... by the renewing... of the mind... intentionally... changing the way... I think... about my spouse...

We demolish arguments and every pretension

 that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,

and we take every thought captive 

and make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Thoughts run amok... in need of destruction...

My husband needs to EARN my respect...

I will NOT respect a man who...

Thought... taken captive... made obedient to Christ...

I WILL respect my husband...

Sin... it begins in the mind...

God warns us...

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Romans 12:2

Be careful what you think...!

Set your minds on things above,

not on earthly things.

Colossians 3:2

What we think is serious business...

God's Light... in the midst of my run to the dark... revealed a pattern of thought that had taken root in my heart... regarding my husband... 

Thought patterns that have created a deep-seated habit of disrespect... highly polished... but disrespect nonetheless...

By His grace... I have begun to take those thoughts captive... making them obedient to Christ... remembering Jesus alone... is my source of joy... peace... security...

The old thoughts... send me careening down the path of Eve... and my previous attempts to respect were polluted with motive...

Changing my thoughts... begins with the work of breaking up a hard heart... and leads to changing habits... new rows plowed... taking all to Christ... He can transform...

Sow for yourselves righteousness,

reap the fruit of unfailing love,

and break up your unplowed ground;

for it is time to seek the Lord,

until he comes and showers righteousness on you.

Hosea 10:12

Respect... for a husband... is serious...  and cultivated from the proper state of mind...

What is your state of mind... ladies... when it comes to your husband...? or other men... in your life...?

sons... sons-in-law...?

brothers...?

co-workers...?

bosses...?

Remember... we Eves... have a job... to encourage the men God has placed in our lives... to be who they were created to be... and our primary tool... is... R-E-S-P-E-C-T...

Father God... thank You... for Your Word... Your teaching... Your willingness to help us demolish wayward thoughts... please continue... to reveal... what's next... in Jesus's name...

learning respect... part 3...

The teaching continues... an answer to prayer... His Light... transforming... the dark... in me...

R... revere

E... engage

S... stand at the crossroads and look...

P

E

C

T

The next word... the P... came yesterday morning...

Pure...

Beginning again... with the dictionary...

pure -- unmixed with any other matter, free from dust, dirt, or taint; spotless, stainless; free from harshness or roughness and being in tune; being thus and no other: sheer, unmitigated; free from what vitiates, weakens, or pollutes; containing nothing that does not properly belong

Respect... the heart behind it... pure... not to be used to manipulate... for your own good...

The night before I received this word... I saw it modeled... true... pure... respect... 

My husband and I stood at the bedside of a dying man... a man my husband knew better than I...

The man... he showed... spoke... respect to my husband... called him good... said he had impacted his life and how he lived... even though my husband probably didn't even realize it...

Respect... from a dying man... what does he have to gain... by offering praise... no future to manipulate others for... what I saw... was... pure... respect... for my husband... the one I have struggled... to respect...

God gave me a gift of grace... 

See how others see him...? 

Look with pure eyes... and heart... 

unfocused on what you feel you need from him... 

Look at him... him alone...

not what you want from him...

but who... he... is...

an image of  Me...

Godly respect... biblical respect... is pure... void of motive... no concern for... advancement... or favor...

Pure...

Free from fear... no need to walk on eggshells...

Real respect... is... pure...

Live as free men, 
but do not use your freedom to cover up evil;
live as servants of God.
Show proper respect to everyone...
1 Peter 2:16-17
(emphasis mine)

Lord Jesus... thank You... for this teaching... this lesson...
the transformation I feel taking place...
I humbly ask You to continue... revealing...
the meaning behind... 
R... E... S... P... E... C... T...

learning respect... part 2...

God's light... it heals... transforms... if we let it shine... on our personal darkness...

My dark... plus His Light... began this teaching...

R... revere
E... engage
S
P
E
C
T

The teaching continues... the Scripture that woke me yesterday... revealed the S...

Stand at the crossroads and look...

This is what the Lord says:

"Stand at the crossroads and look;

ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is,

and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.

But you said, 'We will not walk in it.' ..."

Jeremiah 6:16

Each day...

every moment...

we stand at a crossroads...

we have a choice...

our way...

or...

His Way...

...the ancient path... the good way... is the way it was meant to be... in the beginning... at the genesis...

Consider the outcome of the choice... 

In this case... the choice to... respect... the command given to wives... regarding their husbands...

Eve... she did not respect her husband enough to ask... What do you think... about this fruit...? or... What exactly did God say...?

Perhaps she thought as I do at times... He's not even interested in what's going on here... what's the point of asking... or... He probably wasn't listening... the game was on... there's no way he remembers...

Patterns of thought... that reveal... a lack of respect...

No respect... for the one... whose job is to keep the Garden... and all that is in it... especially his helper...

The Lord took the man and put him in the garden...

to work it and keep it.

Genesis 2:15

ESV

keep... the Hebrew... it means... keep, i.e. cause a state or condition to remain... guard, watch, i.e. limit access and movement of persons or objects in and out of an area, implying protection to or from the item being guarded...

Adam... he had a job... and so did Eve...

Eve... entered the garden... as a helper...  fit for Adam...

Then the Lord God said, 

"It is not good that the man should be alone;

I will make him a helper fit for him."

Genesis 2:18

ESV

But she is not just any helper...

When God creates Eve, he calls here an ezer kenegdo. "It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]" (Gen. 2:18 Alter). Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says this phrase is "notoriously difficult to translate."  The various attempts we have in English are "helper" or "companion" or the notorious "help meet." ...Alter is getting close when he translates it "sustainer beside him."

The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately.

... A better translation therefore of ezer would be "lifesaver." Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart. 

---John & Stasi Eldredge, Captivating

Woman... created to help man... be all he was created to be... it is her divine appointment... and she has been given... divine gifts... power... to fulfill this role... the main gift... respect...

...the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33

(emphasis added)

Respect encourages the one we are to revere... to do... and be... what he was created to do... and be...

Satan... he saw this... and his mission... was to destroy God's image... mankind... male and female... and he began by attacking the helper...

Even a sinless Adam... had doubts... was subject to temptation... yet... a word from Eve... a reverential question... engaging him in the conversation... would have stirred Adam to engage the serpent in conflict...

The lack of respect... led to trusting the one... who sought destruction... division... the new way... the way of the world... looked lovely... reasonable... but it was... the bad way... it was deadly...

Stand at the crossroads... and look...

Respect... an ancient path... a good way...

Consider the outcome of the paths... the ancient... versus... the new...

This same crossroad... is before every Eve... today...

Which way... will you choose...

Note: This relational truth is not just for husbands and wives... but is a message that effects all male/female relationships...

father to daughter...

mother to son...

brother to sister...

co-workers...

friends...

the beginning of the lesson... from the struggle...

The new lesson God began yesterday... is really the continuation of an old one... one I've been trying to learn for about 17 years...

Wives, in the same way be submissive 

to your husbands so that,

if any of them do not believe the word, 

they may be won over without words 

by the behavior of their wives, when they see

the purity and reverence of your lives.

1 Peter 3:1-2

(my emphasis)

A Word I received quite clearly... for the first time God directed me to Scripture... chapter and verse... a verse that DIRECTLY spoke to the prayer I had been crying out to Him...

 The heart of the message... Change yourself... in order... to change your husband...

Not a message I was too happy to hear at the time... and here I am... still... learning... still... surrendering territory... in my heart... that I might be transformed... into that wife... submissive... glowing with... purity and reverence...

As God shone His light... on me... regarding the struggle that sent me running to the dark... He revealed the sin... that keeps me stuck...

...the wife must respect here husband.

Ephesians 5:33

(emphasis added)

With a sad repentant heart... fully exposed... I confess... I do not respect my husband... the way God wants me to... the way I am commanded to...

I have tried... in my own strength... and reasoning... to bring it about... but there is a hard place in my heart... and yesterday morning... I prayed...

Forgive me Lord for not respecting [my husband] as I should.

Teach me how to respect him...

And He promptly began to teach... first through the dictionary...

respect -- to consider worthy of high regard: esteem (to set a high value on: regard highly and prize accordingly); to refrain from interfering with; to have reference to: concern (to relate to: be about; to bear on; to have an influence on)

Then I was prompted to write...

R

E

S

P

E

C

T

... and wait for Him to reveal... the meaning... of each letter... in the word...*

The first came immediately...

Revere...

Back to the dictionary...

revere -- to show devoted deferential honor to: regard as worthy of great honor

... devoted... worthy of great honor... words I kept going back to... drilling them into my mind... and heart... My husband is worthy of great honor... and devotion...

Two reasons to revere have come to mind...

1. My husband is created in the image of God...
2. I chose him...

He is God's creation... and I was not forced to marry him... I chose him... he is my husband... reason enough to exercise reverence... and display devotion...

Up to this point... (less than 48 hrs into the teaching)... I have had some success in this first part of the lesson... learning to honor... and understanding... receiving... into my heart... the reasons to revere...

The second letter... came at virtually the same time as the first...

Engage...

Again... to Merriam-Webster...

engage -- to pledge oneself: promise; guarantee (an assurance for the fulfillment of a condition); to give attention to something: deal; to hold the attention of: engross

Isn't it interesting... the precursor to a marriage is... engagement...

Respect is forged... by pledging oneself... to give attention to another... to deal with them... in a way... that holds their attention... 

I pledge... to engage... my husband... reverentially... a commitment the enemy does not want me to make... 

This morning...  in that half-awake... half-asleep... consciousness... a phrase ran through my head... Scripture... recognizing... that it began... with "S" I asked... Is this the S...?... and heard... Yes...

The phrase to share tomorrow... the next lesson in teaching... respect...

And after that... I will wait... hope-fully... in a faithful God... who will complete what He has begun... in me...

Father God... thank You for Your instruction... Your teaching... that transforms...

*Here is where it gets a little scary... posting this in a blog... here is faith... boldness at work... sharing a lesson that is... incomplete... with no clear timeline for when it will be...