The Journey Readings: Week 129... and unhealthy family relationships...

Family... sometimes we think that's the most important thing there is in life... that nothing bad can come from supporting family members... blood relations... but sometimes... it's just not true...

Through King Jehoshaphat we see some pitfalls... from unhealthy family relationships...

Jehoshaphat... king of Judah... followed the ways of God...
he ruled the southern kingdom of what was formerly one nation...

The Lord was with Jehoshaphat, because he walked

in the earlier ways of his father David. He did not seek Baals,

but sought the God of his father and walked in his commandments,

and not according to the practices of Israel.

2 Chronicles 17:3-4 ESV

Ahab... king of Israel...the northern kingdom... sought idols... and practiced evil...

All the peoples of Judah and Israel were family... the descendants of Abraham... Isaac... Jacob...

Jehoshaphat seemed to put alliance with family on line with... or above... his loyalty to God...

Even though he honored God and His ways... he allowed his son to marry into Ahab's family... a wicked unbelieving family...

Now Jehoshaphat had great riches and honor,

and he made a marriage alliance with Ahab.

2 Chronicles 18:1 ESV

Ahab invited Jehoshaphat to go on a military campaign with him against a common enemy... Jehoshaphat answered...

"I am as you are, my people as your people.

We will be with you in the war."

2 Chronicles 18:3 ESV

It's all in the family... it must be a great idea...

The war did not go well... Ahab was killed... despite his efforts to disguise himself as one of the soldiers... and making sure Jehoshaphat fought in full royal garb as a prime target for the enemy...

Jehoshaphat the king of Judah returned in safety

to his house in Jerusalem. But Jehu the son of Hanani the seer

went out to meet him and said to King Jehoshaphat,

"Should you help the wicked and love those who hate the Lord?

Because of this, wrath has gone out against you from the Lord. ..."

2 Chronicles 19:1-2 ESV

Jehoshaphat was scolded by God... for putting family ahead of godliness...
helping the wicked... just because they were related...

Toward the end of his reign... Jehoshaphat aligned with Israel again in a business deal...

After this Jehoshaphat king of Judah joined with

Ahaziah king of Israel, who acted wickedly.

He joined him in building ships in Eziongeber.

Then Eliezer the son of Dodavahur of Mareshah

prophesied against Jehoshaphat saying,

"Because you have joined Ahaziah, the Lord will destroy

what you have made." And the ships were wrecked

and were not able to go to Tarshish.

2 Chronicles 20:35-37 ESV

God would not allow Jehoshaphat... His follower... to profit from an alliance with one who acted wickedly... even if it was "family"...

I wonder how often we do the same...
because it's family... we go to great lengths to support...
even if they have rejected God and His ways...

Jesus had some difficult teaching on family... and faith...

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father

and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters,

yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. ..."

Luke 14:26 ESV

Our culture's sensibility on family thinks this is preposterous...
but this is what He says...
alliances with Him should never be superseded by family...

His blood... is thicker than family...
faithfulness to Him and His Way...
should always come before relatives...

Even worse... Jehoshaphat's unhealthy ideas about family...
led to devastation for his family and his nation...

When Jehoshaphat died... his oldest son reigned...
(this was the one married to Ahab's daughter...)
he began his reign by killing all his brothers...
and some of the princes in Israel...
in order to strengthen his kingdom...

No... family relationships are not always great...
beware unhealthy family relationships...
keep your relationship with God healthy...

This week's readings...
Monday                 2 Chronicles 25:14 - 26:23
Tuesday                 2 Chronicles 27-28
Wednesday            2 Chronicles 29
Thursday               2 Chronicles 30-31
Friday                   2 Chronicles 32:1 - 33:9

memorialized...

Saturday... a gathering of family... to honor the memory of the elder-in-law...

No formal service... for the one who saw the celebration of his 90th as a eulogy...

Children... grandchildren... great-grands... together to visit... remember... eat... and share hearts...

And that was the most beautiful part... the hearts shared... many transparent to me... for the first time...

Laughter... tears... hugs... thanks... all shared honestly... openly...

Blessed by the time... to get to know better... the family I've been a part of for over 27 years...

Grateful for the man... who made possible my husband... and kids...

Thankful for an opportunity... to share my experience with the elder-in-law... and the Word...

Prayerfully hopeful... for the future... of his children... grands... and greats...

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,

so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Romans 15:13 ESV

as one snatched from the fire...

The elder-in-law... one year and fourteen days... from his step of faith... became separated from his body... temporarily separated from us... through death...

For more than three months now... he's been full-time in a nursing home... his decreasing mobility demanding more... than what we could do...

Last night... as my husband shared the news... of his dad's death... I wondered... Lord... is he with You...?

My failure to disciple well haunted... his decreasing mental state made me wonder... Did he know You...? as best he could...?

I let the question sit...

A short while later... in the midst of another conversation... my husband sharing other aspects of his day... an impression came... the elder-in-law free... for the first time in a long time... from anxiety... fear... all that bound... tears welled...

In the duty of sharing the news with a son... the son said... He's home... that's where he wanted to go...

Yes... the 93-years... he made it... home...

November 19, 1920 - December 5, 2013

Trusting Him...

Be merciful to those who doubt;

snatch others from the fire and save them;

to others show mercy, mixed with fear...

Jude 23

[Related fare...

eternity

more opportunities to trust

growing old

an unbelievable... thanksgiving grace... ]

gathered up... joy...

The joy... of family... gathered up... in faith...

Thank-full for that which is seen...

And those things unseen...
love...
joy...
faith...
Him...

Every good and perfect gift is from above,

coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights...

James 1:17

joy's... ups... and downs...

A time of celebration... filled with... ups... and... downs...
the travel out of town... three hotels... in three nights...
(really four... with some complications...)
ceremonies... hours long... weary legs... and patience tried...

But at the heart... a graduation completed... a degree bestowed...
Joy... for a mom... and dad... plus the brothers...

Each high... seems to be followed by a low...

The oldest... education complete... makes a mom realize... just how much she's grown... and is really about to make it on her own... a moment of joy... and an odd sense of loss...

And through it all... ups... downs... high... lows... joy... loss... I see His faithfulness... and mercy...

Lots of hours... of travel... fun... frustration... and close quarters... make those of us wrapped in flesh... struggle... even in the times of joy...

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,

slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Psalm 86:15

You Lord... are the One who holds us all together...

some days... things just don't get done...

Today... Monday... the beginning of a week... when things should get organized... for the rest of the week... but some days... just need to be interrupted...

A daughter home... celebrating completion of a degree... days to rest before graduation... a mom... just has to rest too... a great reason... just to be... together... doing... whatever...

Having lunch... watching a movie... talking over decisions to be made... searching His Word... listening... enjoying... one another...

I see evidence of times like this... in His life too... with family... friends... just being... after a significant moment in life... His first miracle... water to wine... to keep a wedding party going...

After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother and brothers and his disciples. There they stayed for a few days.

John 2:12

Some days... are just days... to be... together...

19 years... the long and short of it...

A time period... sometimes seems long... sometimes short...

Even just one minute... can seem too long when you are holding your breath... or completing a set of ab exercises... but when you have one minute to complete a task... or get across town for an appointment... it's nothing...

Today for me... marks a long... and short...

It's been 19 years... since my mom left this world for paradise...

"I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."

Luke 23:43

A long time... not to hear her laugh... see her smile... share time... and space... with her... a day to memorialize... embrace grief... and joy... recognize... loss... and gain...

My mom's illness and death... mark the beginning of my walk with Him... just 19 years... such a short time... so many years wasted before... my heart... it wishes... I would have started sooner... not been so stiff-necked... so remedial... but so grateful... for His grace... and however many years I have to walk by faith...

Trusting Him... in His Sovereignty... and power... to redeem... restore... and reclaim... all that has been lost... or wasted...

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten ---

the great locust and the young locust,

the other locusts and the locust swarm ---

my great army that I sent among you. ..."

Joel 2:25

He is not bound... by time... or space... one moment... like the next to Him...

With the Lord a day is like a thousand years,

and a thousand years are like a day.

2 Peter 3:8

Lord... I trust in Your wisdom... to work time... knowing none is too short... or long... for You... I trust You with my days... no matter how many... or few... because in just one... You can accomplish what otherwise would take... a thousand years... Thank You, Lord... thank You...

the end of self...

Family... children... a source of great joy... and great pain... these relationships we do not choose... lead us into circumstances... that bring us to the end of ourselves...

Facing such a challenge now... I trust... that the One who says... I AM... is...

I trust... that He is at work...
in me...
in my spouse...
in the one causing heartache...

I see Him... leading... each one of us... to the end... of self...

That precious place... where we... find... Him...

Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light,

trust in the name of the Lord

and rely on his God.

Isaiah 50:10

growing old

Watching one grow old... is like watching one grow up... in reverse...

I've seen my children grow... from infancy... through the unsteady steps of toddlerhood... school... puberty... and now increasing in knowledge... through college... and faith in the Lord... hopefully... one day... each with a home and family of their own...

But now... the elder-in-law... here just four months... I see clearly growing old... his steps less stable each day... thoughts and words... decreasing... less coherent... more forgetful... awake less... sleeping more... each day... a decreasing... a reverting... despite exercise... and stimuli... the process... unstoppable...

For Believers... the growing old... comes with promises...

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed,

we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven,

not built by human hands...

2Corinthians 5:1

Yet... the unbelieving elder-in-law... at this point... rejects the offer...

Still... I see hope... in the decreasing of mind... and body...

"... I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." --Jesus

Mark 10:15

(my emphasis)

The becoming child-like... again... may make the way... prepare the heart... to be snatched from the fire...

Ashes to ashes... dust to dust...

exodus discoveries

The post-exodus weekend... quiet... contemplative... no children... a time of discoveries... insights... regarding this new wilderness walk...

A new identity... a stay-at-home mom... out of a job... not by choice... it's just the nature of the business... the point of the parenting exercise... still... there is a void... an emptiness... that reaches beyond the vacated rooms...

Something to celebrate... a milestone... children successfully through the grades... each in college... futures unknown... full of potential... each beginning their own relationship with God: Father... Son... Spirit... a job completed... by God's grace...

A relationship interrupted... a realization from watching a favorite movie... part of the story-line focused on a childless couple... not by choice... but by fate... seeing their relationship deepen... and grow... uninterrupted by children... made me wonder... We... my spouse and I... where would we be had we not been interrupted... by the darling three...? A vision in the making... a time to continue the melding of two-to-one... before we became... three... four... five... an adventure ahead... new discoveries... to be made... with my other half...

By God's grace... I walk the walk ahead... a time to mourn... a time to rejoice... a time to anticipate... by God's grace...

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

ESV

exodus

It began five years ago...
our oldest... going to college...
three years later... the middle one left...
two years after... today...  we moved the youngest out... and off...

For everything there is a season,

and a time for every matter under heaven:

...a time to plant,and a time to pluck up what is planted...

...a time to weep, and a time to laugh...

...a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing...

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 4-5

ESV

Letting go... the point of the exercise...

i would've missed it...

This view... I never would've have seen it... never made it to this point... without the leadership of my husband...

The trail started off clear enough... a stairway from the parking lot of the dam... built by Boy Scouts... the sign said it was a 2 mile trail...

At the top of the stairs a gravel path was easy to follow... then we came to a y... to the left looked like an old road... to the right... more gravel overlooking a quarry... I thought following the gravel was the way... not long we came to a dead end... backtracking... my husband said we should go left... down the road... the way he thought first...

Back at the road-like trail... we walked... shortly it came to a real road... a locked gate separating trail from highway...

I was stumped... this is a stupid trail... there was no map at the beginning to show the way the 2 miles went... I stood at the gate... what a short adventure...

Husband... however... without hesitation... walked around the gate, loped across the highway, to investigate the woods on the other side...

Following his boldness, I ducked down and crawled through the gate... standing at the edge of the road I began to look... scanning across the highway for signs of the trail...

On a tree... to the right... was a small wooden plaque... painted brown... bearing a white arrow etched in the wood...

There it is...

We converged at the trail... me still unsure... because what type of people make woodsy-hiking trails without telling you they cross major roads...?  Apparently, Boy Scouts...

My spouse thoroughly confident and undaunted led the way through the woods... narrow trails... an ocassional arrow... faded red... on aluminum circles... nailed to trees, showed the way...

The Boy Scouts's directions left me wondering...

Without the leadership of my trailblazing husband... I never would have made it past the road... never seen the view... or walked along the bluff...

The Word made flesh... the leadership of husbands... their place at the head...

For the husband is the head of the wife...

Ephesians 5:22

ESV

At the head of my family... my husband... his leadership needed...

But my heartache... he remains an unbeliever... will not lead... cannot lead our family spiritually...

As I follow... on the trail... amazed at his undaunted spirit when the trail is unsure... a prayer...

Lord... what he could do as the spiritual head of our family...

capture his heart, Lord... capture his heart...

I wonder... what spiritual trails have I missed...? Where have I turned back instead of boldly moving forward...? I wonder... what would be... what could be... what will be...

But I want you to understand that

the head of every man is Christ,

the head of a wife is her husband,

and the head of Christ is God.

1Corinthians 11:3

ESV

family blessings

Family... what a blessing when... your biological family... is also part of the family of Believers... a bond thicker than blood... the bond of Spirit...

Family... that gets your weirdness... prays for your struggles... shares in the battle... blesses...

Your love has given me great joy and encouragement,

because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.

Philemon 7