wondering... about trusting Him...

My husband asked... Have you called her today...?
and the her is our daughter...

When she and I texted two days earlier she was sick...
the same sick when we saw her two days before that...

And no... I hadn't called her...
hadn't been concerned about her...
but I had been praying for her...
as usual...
how I pray for all my family...
as usual...

My husband's question makes me wonder...
Why didn't I call her...?
why aren't I concerned...?
am I too self-absorbed recently...?
too disconnected...?

But none of that feels true...

I wonder if this is one of the wonders about trusting Him...
not being consumed with worry... fear... anxiety...
because I've been there...

And he probably asked the question because he knew from past experience I would have called... several times...

But no... not now...

In the past... I would become filled with dread... when one of my children didn't answer their phone...

But no... not now...

It's one of the freedoms found in trusting Him...
being at rest... at peace... knowing He is better at being in charge than me...
knowing He knows what my loved ones need...
knowing He'll let me know... if there's something I should do...
or when I should call...

It's a shift in my inner being...
something I thought would never change...
but He has changed it...
by His grace...
He... has... changed... me...

But by the grace of God I am what I am,

and his grace to me was not without effect.

1 Corinthians 15:10 ESV

scattered...

Feeling a bit scattered... at the start of the new year...
bills to pay...
chores to do...
words to write...
studies to prepare...

Last week's days off...
I thought I would get much done...
it didn't happen...

Scattered...

Words come...
for different writings...
at different times...
bubbling up...
feeling disjointed...
like too much...

Scattered...

But the odd thing is...
in all the scattered...
there is joy...

Joy...
even though I don't know how it will get done...

Joy...
in not really knowing where I'm going...

Joy...
knowing He's with me...
behind and before...
holding all the scattered...
together...

And he is before all things,

and in him all things hold together.

Colossians 1:17 ESV

thirty and 1/2 years...

It's the celebration of our thirty and 1/2 year anniversary...
and he talks about how we fight against the aging process...
until one day... it's just accepted...
and you become OK with fatter... slower... tired-er...

And I wonder at what he says...
because I was there a few years ago...
but not now...

Then he talks about growing old...
facing death... worry... fear...
and I say...  You don't have to... there's another way...

He says... You have so much faith...
I say... It's just the truth...

And the truth in Jesus...
is never dying...
never fearing...
and having access to indestructible joy...

There were times...
when it was a struggle to believe...
but the more I trust...
the more I obey...
the more I rest in Him...
the more I understand the truth...

I know we've only had...
thirty and 1/2 years...
because He intervened...

And partly because of the thirty and 1/2 years...
proof of His promises...
I know all the rest is true too...

Therefore we do not lose heart,

but though our outer man is decaying,

yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 4:16 NASB95

Amen...
and I thank Him...
for thirty and 1/2 years...

rest in brokenness...

Brokenness...
I've heard a lot lately...
the heartbreaking kind...

In crying out to Him...
on behalf of the broken...
I find a place to rest...

His incredible love...

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son..."

John 3:16 ESV

His grace...

Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons,

for they had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High.

So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor, they fell down, with none to help.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.

Psalm 107:10-13 ESV

His power to work evil for good...

"... But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant if for good,

in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. ..."

Genesis 50:20 NKJV

His plan and purpose for all...

And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on 

all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods

and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should

seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him.

Yet he is actually not far from each one of us...

Acts 17:26-27 ESV

In interceding for the broken...
I find rest in Him...
trusting Him with those He loves...
more than I...
trusting Him to work good...
through His power to redeem...
trusting He knows what He's doing...
when I can't see...

Is there brokenness you need to trust Him with...?

Carry it to Him in prayer...
find a place...
to rest in brokenness...

rest in His way...

Teach us to number our days aright,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

I ask Him to order my days...
and I've noticed how He has begun to answer...
a new way to keep up with an ongoing ministry...
uncanny timeliness...
in phone calls... and tasks...
needs being met without asking or seeking...

I recognize His hand in it all...
but still I struggle at times...
to rest in His way...

When the day has gone long...
and there are still words to write...
and dinner to prepare...
and loved ones to love...

I remind self...
Rest in His way...
allow Him to order...
and don't fret...

Words come...
others start dinner...
time to connect remains...

How easily I forget His faithfulness...
to answer prayer...
and order a day...
His Way...

Amen...

rest in Him... Genesis 8:1-4...

But God remembered Noah and all the beasts and all the livestock

that were with him in the ark. And God made a wind blow over the earth,

and the waters subsided. The fountains of the deep and the windows

of the heavens were closed, the rain from the heavens was restrained,

and the waters receded from the earth continually. At the end of 150 days

the waters had abated, and in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day

of the month, the ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat.

Genesis 8:1-4 ESV

Noah... he worked for years... building the ark...

worked tirelessly... at what God called Him to do...

until it was complete...

The animals and Noah's family entered the ark...

his part complete... and now... he rested...

God shut the doors...

the water burst forth from the ground...

and poured down from the skies...

Forty days... forty nights...

All the while... Noah rested...

in the work he had done for God...

All the while... Noah rested...

caring for the animals God entrusted to Him...

All the while... Noah rested...

trusting God where he had no control...

Noah rested...

he rested in the work he did...

he rested in the call God put on his life...

he rested in God... for the outcome...

When God calls us to work...

we work until its complete...

then we rest in the work...

rest in what God has in store...

rest in Him... for the outcome...

when He is quiet...

His quietness yesterday...
reminds today...
of a recent conversation...

A mother... grandmother...
asking His direction... guidance...
in dealing with a child's broken family...
and all the heartache that comes with divorce...

She says... He's quiet...
tears welling...

What does it mean...?
when He's quiet...?
when you're desperate...?

What do you do...?
when He seems not to answer...?

And I wonder if the quiet is His answer...
Wait... Trust... Believe I'm at work...

"Be still and know that I am God. ..."

Psalm 46:10 ESV

When He is quiet...

it seems a call for us...

to be quiet too...

waiting thoughts continue...

The verses on waiting over the last few weeks... still stir in my heart... perhaps because I'm doing some waiting...

I think of the patient farmer James tells us to be like...
waiting patiently for what's been planted... hidden... in the ground...

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming.

See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop,

patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.

James 5:7 NIV

Waiting... for growth... for change...
seems to come from something...
hidden away... out of sight...

Jesus told us about another farmer...
scattering seeds... crops growing...
but the farmer has no idea how it happened...

And he said, "The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter

seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts

and grows; he knows not how. ..."

Mark 4:26-27 ESV

The woman who hid leavening in the bread...
she had to wait for it to grow...

And again he said, "To what shall I compare the kingdom of God?

It is like leaven that a woman took and hid in three measures of flour,

until it was all leavened."

Luke 13:20-21 ESV

This hiding... of Word...
waiting for the Kingdom to burst forth...
takes time... days and nights...
it begins where we can't see...
and is a mystery to us who wait...

Some of the things I'm waiting on make my heart heavy...
make me groan with deep desire to see something happen...
I call on the Holy Spirit to interpret my groans...
intercede on behalf of those I groan for...

And this hidden thought comes to mind...
this reminder that I'm in a season...
of patient waiting...

Waiting for growth...
I don't know how...
in a place I cannot see...
patiently waiting...
on Him who is trustworthy...

Amen...

wait on Him... Micah 7:5-7...

Put no trust in a neighbor; have no confidence in a friend;

guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your arms;

for the son treats the father with contempt,

the daughter rises up against her mother,

the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;

a man's enemies are the men of his own house.

But as for me, I will look to the Lord;

I will wait for the God of my salvation;

my God will hear me.

Micah 7:5-7 ESV

Who is worth waiting on... hoping in...?

Not your neighbor...

your friend...

your spouse...

your children...

your in-laws...

only God...

God alone delivers...

God alone is faithful...

Every person in your life will eventually let you down...

no person can save you...

Too often we put our trust in others...

trust which rightly belongs to God...

When He is our hope...

the One on which we wait...

we save ourselves a lot of grief...

For years... I found myself putting hope in my husband...

waiting on him... to keep me safe and secure...

looking to him... to make me content...

Finally God revealed this as idolatry...

He will never allow us to find security and peace in a person...

because He is the only One to fill that place in our lives...

Consider who you are waiting on... hoping in...

if it's a person in your life... let it go...

love them... bless them...

but don't put your hope in them...

Turn to God to fill the role of Savior... 

Confidant... 

Friend... 

in your life...

He's waiting for you... to wait on Him...

wait on Him... Psalm 62:5...

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,

for my hope is from him.

Psalm 62:5 ESV

The verses today... follow the ones from yesterday's post...

and it sounds as if the psalmist suffers waiting woes too...

Now we hear him preaching to his own soul...

O my soul... wait in silence...

The verses between yesterday's and today's... reveal ongoing affliction...

How long will all of you attack a man to batter him,

like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?

They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.

they take pleasure in falsehood. They bless with their mouths,

but inwardly they curse.

Psalm 62:3-4 ESV

The psalmist waits... hopes... in God...

to bring justice... overcome evil... free from oppression...

all the while encouraging his soul... wait in silence...

The Hebrew translated as silence doesn't only mean be quiet...

but also... to cease activity... rest... (Dictionary of Biblical Languages)

How often... when injustice seems to prevail... do we get busy taking things in our own hands... trying to make things right ourselves...?

When we won't wait... rest... be still... in the difficulty...

we reveal a lack of trust... an unbelief... in God... who says He defends... and calls us to something different...

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God,

for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."

To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing

you will heap burning coals on his head."

Do not overcome evil by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:19-21 ESV

Be silent... trust... rest... wait for Him...

He is faithful...

He will take care of things perfectly...

all in His time... 

wait on Him... Psalm 40:1-3...

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.

Psalm 40:1 ESV

Waiting patiently for the Lord... when it comes to our prayers... assures... He will lean down... and hear...

Waiting implies expectation of being heard...

of being noticed...

of receiving what we are waiting for...

But if we become impatient... tired... fed up...

we become hopeless... or just plain mad...

we leave...

How many times have you given up on waiting...?

in a doctor's office...?

on hold...?

in a line...?

When we give up the waiting...

we are assured we will NOT get what we were waiting for...

It is the patient waiter who is rewarded...

the one patient in waiting who receives what they have waited for...

I waited patiently for the Lord...

He inclined to me and heard my cry...

Don't give up your prayer...

never stop waiting on Him...

He is trustworthy...

He will hear...

He will respond to your patient waiting...

wait on Him... Psalm 37:5-7...

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act.

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,

and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,

over the man who carries out evil devices!

Psalm 37:5-7 ESV

Committing your way to the Lord's Way...

can seem like the long way around...

His Way requires patience...

steadfastness... forbearance...

and integrity...

Those who follow His Way...

commit their lives to it...

look like fools to the world...

Following tax code to the letter of the law...

returning too much change...

humbly yielding to others...

telling the truth to your own detriment...

taking responsibility for your actions...

The world has its own wisdom...

get ahead no matter the cost...

look out for number one...

pay back is hell...

what they don't know won't hurt 'em...

James describes it this way...

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct

let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts,

do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that 

comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.

For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be

disorder and every vile practice.

James 3:13-16 ESV

When you're tempted to do things the world's way...

because it looks like the only way to get ahead...

remember... be still before the Lord...

wait patiently on Him...

For those committed to His Way...

will shine bright one day...

their righteousness and just actions...

cutting right through the darkness...

like the noonday sun...

His Way is the best...

His foolishness wiser than the wisest worldly wisdom...

and it is always... worth... the... wait...

wait on him... Psalm 33:20-21...

Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.

For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.

Psalm 33:20-21 ESV

Because He is our help and shield in the waiting...
our hearts are glad Him...
because we trust Him...

While we wait for Him...
to fulfill His promise...
work good from evil...
return to make things right...
we do so with joy...
because He is trustworthy...
He helps us along the way...
He shields us from so much...
most of it unknown to us...

And I wonder at the fear that overtakes my heart...
when the young man on the phone asks... Do you have any other questions for me...?
and His Spirit says... Ask Him if He knows Jesus...
and even though this young man is in Canada...
my heart clenches... the question goes unasked...
instead I end the call with... May the Lord bless you and keep you...

Wimped out...
I totally wimped out...

Conviction now clenches my heart instead of fear of man...

My unbelief and doubt in the waiting still so great...!

I'm such a bad waiter...
not serving the Lord well...
because I don't believe He is my help... my shield...

Lord... forgive me... I've failed again...

Thank You for your grace... Let me not forget Your conviction...

Bless me with another opportunity... and fearless faith...

wait on Him... Psalm 31:23-24...

Love the Lord, all you saints!

The Lord preserves the faithful but abundantly repays

the one who acts in pride. Be strong, and let your heart take courage,

all you who wait for the Lord!

Psalm 31:23-24 ESV

Love the Lord... all you followers of Jesus...

only in Him... can we be called saints...

He is our Lord... so serve Him wholeheartedly...

obey Him... for this is love for Him...

Loving God means keeping his commandments,

and his commandments are not burdensome.

1 John 5:3 NLT

Those who love Him... who faithfully obey...

He preserves... protects...

but those who act in pride... following their own way...

will not fare so well...

I will punish the world for its evil, and the wicked for their iniquity;

I will put an end to the pomp of the arrogant,

and lay low the pompous pride of the ruthless.

Isaiah 13:11  ESV

Those who wait on Him...

can take courage... be strong... in the wait...

He is faithful to those who are faithful...

He is just... and will keep His promises...

Wait on Him... 

Love Him...

He will come through...

wait on Him... Psalm 25:21...

May integrity and uprightness preserve me,

for I wait for you.

Psalm 25:21 ESV

When we wait... hope in... expect... the Lord...

we do so with integrity... innocence... simplicity...

uprightness... straightness... doing what is right...

Waiting on Him... revolves around doing things His way...

not the world's way...

Even if it looks like the crooked way is the only way to win...

it's not...

If it looks like those who take shortcuts leave you in the dust...

they aren't...

The only way to preserve... guard... keep safe... your life...

is to wait on Him... His Way...

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,

but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.

Proverbs 10:9 ESV

Be assured, an evil person will not go unpunished,

but the offspring of the righteous will be delivered.

Proverbs 11:21 ESV

Whoever walks in integrity will be delivered,

but he who is crooked in his ways will suddenly fall.

Proverbs 28:18 ESV

lean on Him... leads to... wait on Him...

The days and weeks in His Word...
seeking to lean on Him...
have led to a new insight...
a new revelation...

An idea... understanding... I had in my head...
but my eyes were in the wrong place...

You see... I've been waiting on specific changes in the lives of loved ones for a long time... we're talking years...

Waiting on them to change...

This waiting... even though I knew God had to be behind it all... in it all... caused me at times to be impatient... frustrated... with those I long to change...

And I know... knew... only God makes things grow...
only He transforms... the old... into new creations...
but I've kept my eyes on the ones I long to see change...
looking for signs... waiting... hoping... on them...

But what I realized... in this leaning my mind... imagination... toward trusting Him... was that in all the promises... change... I desire... I'm really waiting on Him...!

He's the One who works in hearts...
opens eyes... brings light...

He's the One... I'm waiting on...

And to wait on Him...
is a totally different perspective...

To wait on Him...
is to trust the One who is able...
the One who knows...
the One with perfect timing...
the One who loves my loved ones more than me...

To wait on Him...
keeps my eyes on Him...
and off those whose seemingly unchanged lives...
cause frustration...

When we become frustrated with the ones for whom we pray...
it changes our attitude toward them...
and we become a stumbling block to the change we want to see...

But when we wait on God...
and become frustrated with Him...
He can take it...
and He takes it and changes our hearts...
opens our eyes... lovingly...
to His love for us...

Trusting and waiting...
inextricably intertwined...

Grateful for the shift of perspective...
this heart change...
so guess what comes next...?

I'm feeling a series...
another seeking...
of what it means to...
wait on Him...

To you I lift up my eyes, O you who are enthroned in the heavens!

Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master,

as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress,

so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he has mercy upon us.

Psalm 123:1-2 ESV

lean on Him... Jeremiah 17:7-8...

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.

He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 7:7-8 ESV

The blessing of the one who trusts in the Lord is evident...
like a tree planted near a stream...
an ever-present supply of living water...

"...Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said,

'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'" ---Jesus

John 7:38 ESV

Trusting in the Lord... believing in Him... leaning on Him...

has its benefits...

no fear from heat... or drought...

always fresh... alive... green...

no worry... because He makes the way for fruit to grow...

Are you planted near Him...? trusting in Him...?

Do you sense the blessings...? carefree attitude...? He promises...?

This is the last lean on Him... in this series...

and this is one of my favorite reminders... to trust in Him... 

blessed... like a tree planted by water...

Life abundant...

fruitful for Him...

when everyone else might be wasting a way...

Learn to lean on Him... trust in Him...

because this is life... rest... peace... hope...

Lean on Him... Isaiah 50:10...

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the voice of his servant?

Let him who walks in darkness and has no light

trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.

Isaiah 50:10 ESV

Trusting in Him... primarily happens... when we realize... we can't trust in ourselves...

Finally understanding we have absolutely no light of our own... 

makes us realize we need help...

When we get tired of stumbling around in the dark...

when we've run into one wall too many...

or one more pit too deep...

we wise up...

We begin to cry out to God...

fear... revere Him as we should...

And fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom...

and realizing we have no light in and of ourselves...

causes us to lean on Him... trust Him...

cry out to Him... and obey Him...

Without Him we walk in darkness...

trust Him... rely on Him... lean heavily upon Him...

lean on Him... Isaiah 26:4...

Trust in the Lord forever,

for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

Isaiah 26:4 ESV

There is nothing more sure... in which to place our trust... than in Him... the Everlasting Rock...

He will never fail us...

He will never tire...

He will never pass away...

Of old you laid the foundation of the earth,

and the heavens are the work of your hands.

They will perish, but you will remain;

they will all wear out like a garment.

You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,

but you are the same, and your years have no end.

Psalm 102:25-27 ESV

His Word always sure...

His promises faithful...

His strength unfailing...

His wisdom and knowledge perfect...

How long can you trust Him...?

Forever...!

What can you trust Him with...?

Everything...!

Who or what...? are you trusting...?

lean on Him... Isaiah 26:3...

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you. 

Isaiah 26:3 ESV

The one who trusts Him...

has a mind stayed on Him...

The Hebrew translated... stayed... means... "to lean upon"... (Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament)

What does it look like to have a mind... leaned upon Him...?

Thoughts always leaning toward Him...

not toward worry...

not toward fear...

but to the One who is Sovereign...

the One who is Good...

the One who loves you...

"...For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed,

but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,

and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,"

says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10 ESV

Those who trust Him...

lean their thoughts toward Him...

and reap the benefit of peace...

Not just any peace...

but perfect peace...

The Hebrew reads...

shalom shalom...

double peace...

wholeness of your wholeness...

all things set right...

all things secure and sound...

peace...

Where are your thoughts stayed...? leaning...?

What results from your thoughts...?

Trust Him...

lean your thoughts... mind... imagination...

toward Him...

and know... peace... peace...

Amen...