so much to do... so much joy...

On the drive home from the shop...
my brain spins... with all I have to do...
bills to pay...
ministry to tend to...
dinner to cook...
blog to write...
Bible study to plan and prepare...
plants to water...
the list goes on...
but all I feel is...
JOY...

I really don't get it...
it seems so incongruent...
to my reality...
and how I would've felt...
before...

Before what...?
Can't put words to it...
before He freed me up to more of Him...
more faith in His work in my life...
more faith in His strength to do all He fills my life with...
more trust in Him to get it done...
more obedience to His Spirit...

Joy...
just more confirmation...
of walking with Him...

Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord.

There are many who say, "Who will show us some good?

Lift up the light of your face upon us, O Lord!"

You have put more joy in my heart than they have

when their grain and wine abound.

Psalm 4:5-7 ESV

Trust and obedience...

a life lived for Him...

unexpected...

incongruent...

irrational...

joy... joy... joy...

Please understand... this unreasonable joy... 

that's been bubbling up in my heart the last couple of years... 

has come from years... decades... of pursuing His Way...

It is the result of much struggle... much failure... much repentance... much anxiety... on the road to trusting Him...

But let me tell you... it's worth it...

If you are struggling today... keep on keeping on...

continue offering right sacrifices...

giving Him your time... energy... life...

I hope to encourage you with these words today...

that joy will come... 

He promises it...

His joy... at our pursuit of Him... becomes our strength...

So I wonder... is this joy even mine...

maybe it's His... fueling me with strength...

to do all He's put in my life...

And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Nehemiah 8:10 ESV

He makes it known...

That path... dropping fatness... 

the one filled with ruts...

His bountiful path...
His way of blessing...
He makes it known...

You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:11 ESV

He wants you to find it... to walk in it...

He wants you in His presence... full of joy...

He wants you... at His right hand... experiencing pleasures... forevermore...

The question might be... What do you want...?

Don't we all want joy... pleasure...?

Do you believe you'll only find it in Him...?

His path... the path of life... overflows... with blessing...

Seek... and you will find...

He makes it known...

learning... His promises...

I see it this morning... crystal clear in my mind...

"...Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,

for I am gentle and lowly in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls. ..."

Matthew 11:29 ESV

His invitation to learn... His promise to teach... happens under His yoke...

A yoke meant for two...

Him walking beside me... each step... near... attached together under His yoke...

His will... His Way...

As long as I stay under... He's matching my steps... right beside me... teaching...

Yes...

I will go out in joy... and be led in peace...!

another day... of testing new...

Continuing to test... consider... a new call... a new opportunity...

Continuing to ask... Is this for me...? Is this where You want me to be...?

Each time we sense something new... whether it's about Him... or an open door to walk through... He expects us to test... seek confirmation... find out if it is from Him...

Beloved, do not believe every spirit,

but test the spirits to see whether they are from God...

1 John 4:1 ESV

Another day... testing the waters... 

praying...

listening...

waiting...

desiring... to follow Him...

Make me know the way I should go,

for to you I lift up my soul.

Psalm 143:8 ESV

What about you...? anything new you're testing these day...?

translating... patriarchs...

The reading through... brings me to another patriarch... Abram... renamed... Abraham... who laughed at 99 years of age... when the Lord said he would have a son... by Sarai... Sarah... who was 90... she laughed too...

The Lord... He did not laugh...

Is anything too hard or wonderful for the Lord? At the appointed time, when the season [for her delivery] comes around, I will return to you and Sarah shall have borne a son.

Genesis 17:14 Amp

With these words... my mind turns back to the ark... pregnant with life... waiting the appointed time... for delivery...

I'm still Noah... reaping wisdom from Abraham... and from one traveling with me... on The Journey...

She said it last Sunday... a response to my being Noah... floating... trusting... no control... waiting...

...he worked a long time... building the ark... 100 years...

100 years...?! ...that's what I heard her say... but a long time... yes... years... yes... many years...

And today... I think of that ark... and the One who delivers... and realize... faith... obedience... years of the daily... are what build an ark...

When Abram was 99 years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, I am the Almighty God; walk and live habitually before Me and be perfect (blameless, wholehearted, complete). And I will make My covenant (solemn pledge) between Me and you...

Genesis 17:1-2 Amp

Noah too... before Abram... walked with God... in habitual fellowship...

And I look at the work... the faith... I put in the loved one who struggles... hope it will hold through the storm... I only had 18 years... not 100...

And my own ark... the one pregnant with me... is there enough faith... to hold it together... waiting...?

When the storm comes... and the water rises... will your ark hold...? Will you trust it...? Will you forsake it...? Will a tree trunk floating by... look better than your ark...?

The building of an ark... like the building of a house... takes time...

It must be done in fair weather... building on the Rock... listening... seeking... obeying... finding Him a firm foundation... trustworthy in the small... leads us to trust Him with the large... and... looming...

And I wonder... and wait... for the day of delivery... His appointed time...

journeying...

Journeying... going...
here... to there...
beginning... to end...
sunup... to sundown...

And I read it... earlier this year... in Bonhoeffer...

Wondered at the time if it were true...

I see now... it is...

Every day is a completed whole.

---Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I Want to Live These Days With You, January 4 

Every day... a completed journey...

Lord... I want to live these days with You... journey... with You... 

Lead me that I might journey well...

God said, "My presence will go with you.

I'll see the journey to the end."

Exodus 33:14 Msg

This week's readings... for The Journey...

Monday             John 6:1-21

Tuesday             John 6:22-71

Wednesday        John 7:1-31

Thursday            John 7:32-8:11

Friday                John 8:12-59

feeling unsteady...

A day when footing feels unsure...
struggled... to stay awake... in the midst of ministry...
too much to do... not enough time...
loose ends... not coming together...
questionable choices... made along the way...
but still I sit... near the end of the day... praising Him...
trusting Him... to not let my foot slip...

When I said, "My foot is slipping,"

your love, O Lord, supported me.

Psalm 94:18

a new release...

A New Release... A Step of Faith...

I've written these words several times today... taking the next step... sending emails... with fear and trembling... announcing The Heart of Bethlehem...

And I realize... I've recently embraced... a new release...

Releasing... fear...
by focusing... on Him...

And in the release... I find myself... strangely filled...

Releasing... my husband...
from expectations he could never meet... was not created to fulfill... has left me more fully dependent on Him... making the way for a more solid... peaceful... joyful... marriage for me...

Releasing... writing into the world...
removes fear... when I pour it out for Him... and not for me...

Releasing... my life... my heart... my hurts... to Him...
I find myself... at peace... able to rest with what comes...

Release... it is a step of faith... and growth...
a necessary step... to embrace...

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;

my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;

he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, O people;

pour out your hearts to him,

for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:5-8

seeking refuge...

A rocky start... to a short week...

A heart that rocks and rolls... as things have not gone as expected... short on essentials... a rearranging of appointments... a week filled with deadlines...

Who do I need You to be today... Lord...?

My Shield... a defense against the world... a protective barrier against the instability of my own heart...

The Lord is my strength and my shield;

my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.

My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

Psalm 28:7

Seeking refuge in the One... to whom nothing is a surprise...

He cannot be caught off guard...

Lord... today I seek refuge in You... my Shield...

fill my heart with joy... and songs of thanks...

I trust in You...

when one thing leads to another...

A full day... but unsure exactly how all would get done... or what exactly would get done... or what it would look like...

A day of asking...

What's next, Lord...? 

A day of listening...

Whether you turn to the right or to the left,

your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,

"This is the way; walk in it."

Isaiah 30:21

A day of doing the next thing...

My steps have held to your paths;

my feet have not slipped.

Psalm 17:5

A day of unexpected blessings... 

I guide you in the way of wisdom

and lead you along straight paths.

When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;

when you run, you will not stumble.

Proverbs 4:11-12

Thank You Lord... for Your guidance today... 

Thanks for caring... about even the small things... in my day...

Thank You... for the unexpected... blessings...

whew...

Another Summit... a day spent absorbing world-class leadership training...

The message... it pierces the heart... with...
conviction...
encouragement...
inspiration...

My heart hears...
You cannot stay quiet...
Compassion... an inviolable value...
Get over self-consciousness...
This is not about me...
Pour it out...
Do not be a poser...

All delivered... in an atmosphere of grace... and love...

The resounding reminder...

Be strong and courageous. 

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged,

for the Lord your God

will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9 NIV

All a much needed reminder...

Whew... there's another day tomorrow...

Lord... make room in my heart... mind... will... for MORE...

do not allow me... to go away... unchanged...

gratefully... walking...

Walking in the grace of God's love...

... for love covers a multitude of sins

[forgives and disregards the offenses of others].

1Peter 4:8 Amp

Thank You...

beware... your own understanding...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding...

Proverbs 3:5

It's right there... when you lean on your own understanding... you are not trusting the Lord... at least not with all your heart...

To use your own understanding... is to go your own way... not the Way...

I realized this today... as I look back and see... opportunities... graces... gifts... missed... by leaning on my own understanding...

With my understanding... fear... prejudice... pride... self- righteousness... keep me from trusting Him... with all my heart...

Beware... of your own understanding... put it aside... boldly surrender... be a fool... for Him...

Let no person deceive himself. If anyone among you supposes that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool [let him discard his worldly discernment and recognize himself as dull, stupid, and foolish, without true learning and scholarship], that he may become [really] wise.

1Corinthians 3:18 Amp

Father God... remind me... that my understanding... my reasoning... is foolish in Your sight... bless me with the boldness to trust You... walk Your Way... even when it feels... crazy...

setting sights...

A morning walk... with my husband whom I invited to join me... no particular destination in mind... the purpose for me... get my aerobic workout over for the day...

With an eye on the stop watch... I picked a point just ahead... and told my spouse where we would turn around...

It was then he said it...

Now that I know where I'm going 

I can walk with purpose in my step.

...and he did... this man who runs... not particularly into walking... began to take bigger strides... a goal was before him...

My thoughts had been on a friend... called to practice a spiritual discipline... a fast... until... no set time line... just... until...

We do so much better when we know when the end is to come... when we can let up... let go... relax... when we're done...

But our call as Believers... in the everyday business of walking... His Way... is... until...

...until... He... returns...

But nobody knows that particular date... or... time... only the Father...

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. ..." ---Jesus

Matthew 24:36

We are also to continue... until...

...until... we... look... like... Him...

But for the finite... in its brokenness... to strive toward infinite perfection... takes a while... (like forever...!)

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. ...forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14 ESV

That's why His Word tells us...

...fix your eyes on Him...

...set your mind on things above...

...consider Him who endured...

Knowing... the One coming... the One transforming... puts purpose in our step...

Until... is the everyday... a time unforeseeable in the distance... but a destination... just the same...

Walk with purpose... setting sights ... on Him...

exercising freedom...

A day filled... with plenty of opportunities... to exercise freedom...

For you were called to freedom, brothers.

Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh,

but through love serve one another.

Galatians 5:13 ESV

How did you exercise your freedom today?

a busy season... requires faith...

This current season... it just seems busy...
a busy that requires walking by faith...

Functioning by faith... feels like a fine line... at times...
a thin margin... between... peace... and... panic...

But He knows... each thing I must do...
each deadline is His...

So I continue...
moment by moment...
step by step...
breath by breath...
trusting...
Him...

When I said, "My foot is slipping,"

your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.

Psalm 94:18 NIV