following after Christ...

The church of Jesus Christ stands before God vicariously by following after Christ under the cross. God is a God of bearing. The Son of God bore our flesh, and for that reason he bore the cross; he bore all our sins and through his bearing achieved reconciliation. So too are disciples called to be bearers.

---Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I Want to Live These Days with You 

This morning's Bonhoeffer sent me back to the devotional read last evening...

It is the experience of genuine grief that prepares for joy.

You see? The disciples approached the Resurrection from their bereavement. For them the death was first, and the death was all. Easter, then, was an explosion of Newness, a marvelous splitting of heaven indeed. But for us, who return backward into the past, the Resurrection comes first, and through it we view a death which is, therefore, less consuming, less horrible, even less real. We miss the disciples' terrible, wonderful preparation.

---Walter Wangerin Jr., Reliving the Passion

How are we... to follow after...? after Christ's ministry on earth...? after His life... death... resurrection... behind us in history...?

How can we ever hope to experience that same loss of Him... as the first disciples...? bear the full impact of real time betrayal... loss... crucifixion...? an unknown future...?

How can we experience even a glimpse of the wonder... awe... joy... of resurrection... in our following after Christ...?

Suffering... grieving... loss...
Suffering the humility of repentance... truly looking at who we are apart from Him...
Suffering the crucifixion of self... denying our own logic and understanding for His...
Suffering obedience...loving our enemies... blessing those who curse us... praying for our abusers... a laying down of ego...
Suffering through fasting... putting aside our wants for His...

And the joy...?
It only comes in the wake of suffering...
His resurrection... into our lives of death and sin...
His Word of love... to our lost souls...
His forgiveness and grace... the filling of our spirit by His...

Following after Christ...

How do you make it real...?

I want to know Christ ---

yes, to know the power of his resurrection

and participation in his suffering,

becoming like him in his death

and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection

from the dead.

Philippians 3:10-11 NIV