and the her is our daughter...
When she and I texted two days earlier she was sick...
the same sick when we saw her two days before that...
And no... I hadn't called her...
hadn't been concerned about her...
but I had been praying for her...
as usual...
how I pray for all my family...
as usual...
My husband's question makes me wonder...
Why didn't I call her...?
why aren't I concerned...?
am I too self-absorbed recently...?
too disconnected...?
But none of that feels true...
I wonder if this is one of the wonders about trusting Him...
not being consumed with worry... fear... anxiety...
because I've been there...
And he probably asked the question because he knew from past experience I would have called... several times...
But no... not now...
In the past... I would become filled with dread... when one of my children didn't answer their phone...
But no... not now...
It's one of the freedoms found in trusting Him...
being at rest... at peace... knowing He is better at being in charge than me...
knowing He knows what my loved ones need...
knowing He'll let me know... if there's something I should do...
or when I should call...
It's a shift in my inner being...
something I thought would never change...
but He has changed it...
by His grace...
He... has... changed... me...
But by the grace of God I am what I am,
and his grace to me was not without effect.
1 Corinthians 15:10 ESV
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