I'll be glad when I'm finally done with the book of James... the daily memory work... meditating... eating... I'm looking forward to a time of respite from him... His words... revealing unpleasantness I need to deal with... tend to... confess...
...if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart,
don't brag and deny the truth.
Such wisdom does not come from above
but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.
For where envy and selfish ambition exist,
there is disorder and every kind of evil.
James 3:14-16
HCSB
James advises...
...if you have bitter envy...
and selfish ambition...
in your heart...
don't deny the truth...
Of course... that is our first response... when sin is revealed... deny... push it down... tell the self... That is not me... I'm gracious... unselfish... but if sin is kept in the dark... the Light cannot do its work... the obliterating of sin...
"...I have come into the world as a light,
so that no one who believes in me
should stay in darkness. ..." --- Jesus
John 12:46
(my emphasis)
Over the past days... weeks... months... a tainted spring has been revealed... I cannot deny it... bitter envy... and selfish ambition... bubble up in my heart... from time to time...
This journey into writing... has stirred an envy I can hardly believe...
The process of buying a new car... used no less... highlighted selfish ambition...
My spouse's placement of a second fan next to the bed... sparked a sneer...
Each emotion... unwilled... undesired... unconscious... simply bubbled up... clenching my heart... yikes...
I confess... disorder... every kind of evil... lurks in the recesses of my heart... Like the ills of the tongue... there is no man-made cure... but God offers a path to spiritual healing...
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well;
the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.
Therefore confess your sins to each other
and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:15-16
Sin... associated with sickness... healing found in confessing to the righteous... that they might pray... making the sick well... and the sinner forgiven...
Today... I humbly confess... bitter envy... and selfish ambition have taken root in my heart... bringing sickness... heart ache... I ask you to pray in faith... that I might be healed...
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