after a collision

Saturday... an ER visit... sitting with cousin and her daughter... listening to the account of the accident... a car (no brakes?) pulled right out...  cousin slammed brakes... swerved... stopped by barbed wire... air-lifted...

She... assured by highway patrol... it was not your fault... plenty of witnesses... Her response... of course it was not my fault... I was cruising at 70mph... he pulled right out in front of me...

I remember... cousin's account... her confidence of innocence... Sunday morning... after another collision... one of the heart... a colliding of souls... words spoken sharply... a response to my questions... cruising through the morning... when out of nowhere... my heart crushed...

I thought later... how comforting it would be to have the Heart Patrol... Conversation Police... say: ...there were plenty of witnesses... this collision was not your fault...

In doubt... I search my heart for hidden motives... agendas... Am I being controlling... cruising along not thinking as I speak? Or was I blind-sided... out of nowhere... by words with no brakes...?

Wishing for witnesses... ones who speak unbiased truth... I realize... there was a Witness... the One who knows all hearts...

I appeal to Him... reveal my fault... test my heart...

In worship... the sermon... Psalm 11... my attention captured... a reality revealed...

For look, the wicked bend their bows;

they set their arrows against the strings

to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart.

Psalm 11:2

(my emphasis)

There is an enemy... waiting... aiming... in the shadows... to pierce the heart of Believers.... will use anyone as a bow... loved ones... lost or otherwise...

Even I... any Believer... may also be his bow... to pierce the lost... or the loved...

Diligence required... taming of the tongue... more silence... than words... needed...

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,

and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Proverbs 17:28

Collisions of the soul... begin with words... reckless... piercing...

Uncertain of my guilt... or innocence... I turn to the Word... the One made flesh... the One in whom I'm free from sin... and condemnation...

The Lord is in his holy temple;

the Lord is on his heavenly throne.

He observes the sons of men;

his eyes examine them.

Psalm 11:4

In Him... I have peace...

In Him... I can love... past the pain...

In Him... I will rise...

Air-lifted... in forgiveness... healing... hope...

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