still... fighting... fear...

Waking thoughts... focused on something new...

A job taken on a couple of weeks ago... something I'd never really done before... one I wanted to do well... and not disappoint...

The past week spent preparing... learning... practicing...

This morning... my waking dreams... centered on this job...

I've noticed... when fear... paralyzes... He often moves me forward... by having me do it first... in my dreams...

There was a time... when anxiety reigned... in my heart... mind... soul...

The initial place fear implanted itself in my life... was with food...

A thought came to mind... I unwisely entertained... rather than dismissing...

Slowly... little by little... the enemy increased the number of foods... I was afraid to eat...
shrimp...
strawberries...
chewing gum...
chocolate...

I know this sounds insane... and had anyone known my internal battle at the time... I'm sure I would've been highly medicated... because the anxieties weren't restricted to just food...

But I remember... as God led me out of this pit... (one I willingly jumped into... believing lies... because the enemy had strongholds in my life...) part of the process... included eating one of the anxiety-ridden foods... in a dream...

I'd wake with the surety... that I was to eat... without fear...
and little by little... He led me out of the pit of anxiety...

All to say... I'm still... fighting... fear...

It continues to try to take hold... take back the ground its lost...

So this morning... when I dreamed of doing the job...
I realized... I'd been dragging my feet because of fear...
and today... was the day... to tackle it...

By His grace... it's mostly complete...

Grateful for the work of learning something new... and dreams to encourage me to step beyond fear...

For God has not given us a spirit of fear,

but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV