The
gray of day and
mood... begins to clear... the necessity of seeking... confirmed by a book...
In short, Jesus is redefining everything we thought we knew about connecting to God.
(emphasis added)
A line that caught my attention... spoke to me where I am... a desire to know more about Him...
Timothy Keller... in
The Prodigal God... explores the heart of a
parable found in Luke...
The Prodigal Son... aka
The Lost Son... one most are familiar with. A teaching we hear often regarding the Father's love for the lost... which we identify as the younger rebellious son. But Keller... he points out that Jesus directed this story toward the Pharisees... the one's condemning Him for engaging sinners. Keller says... this parable is about
two lost brothers... the elder brother as lost as the younger...
Both Wrong; Both Loved
Jesus does not divide the world into the moral "good guys" and the immoral "bad guys." He shows us that everyone is dedicated to a project of self-salvation, to using God and others in order to get power and control for themselves. We are just going about it in different ways. Even though both sons are wrong, however, the father cares for them and invites them both back into his love and feast. ---Timothy Keller
I sense... an inclusiveness... one I could have spoken with my mouth... but not lived out in my heart... when it comes to myself...
Too often... a tightness seizes my chest... when simply serving my family... a feeling I don't agree with... and I wonder why I don't have joy... the kind I desire... an ugly resentment... tries to take over... one I wrestle against with thanksgiving... a crazy unseen battle of the heart happens over a sink of dirty dishes left from the night before... seeing this as an infringement on
my quiet time with God... but knowing that
this... serving with thanks... caring for family... can be quiet time with Him...
Bear with me... I know this sounds insane... but what I sense... is a dual personality...
me... both younger
and elder brother...
There is a liar... telling me I don't deserve to feast with the Father... I don't deserve His love because I squandered... a judgmental attitude... one that sees only law... and
not grace... has continued to haunt my relationship with Him... and my view of others...
This Father... the One who sees ALL as sinners... ALL as loved... ALL as welcomed... this is the One I have not fully received into my heart...
A recent conversation with my oldest... over a well-worn verse used in carols... and holiday songs... and Christmas cards...
Peace on earth... Good will toward men...
A secular paraphrase of Scripture...
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
Luke 2:14
one I've always viewed as exclusive... His favor resting on those who please Him... those who do His will... but my child... she says...
His favor rests on all people...
A click... a tumbler of the lock on my heart... it takes a step closer... to truth... to freedom...
Yes... this I knew... He pours out
grace on ALL...
it is the year of the Lord's favor in which we live... but somehow there has been a disconnect...
No grace for myself... my own internal elder brother mocking me... leaving no room for a God who receives all with a heart for Him even if their understanding is slightly skewed... or a God who graces those with misplaced faith...
The love of the Father
stoops down... is inclusive... as He woos... and
waits... for those who will come...
A personal prayer for me... over the past several months... has been... that I might truly
know and rely on the love He has for me...
I sense a clearing... of the darkness... the clouds... that keep me from living in the joy... and peace... of His love...
Today... I will silence the elder brother in me... he is a liar... and just as lost... as me... the rebel... with a past of seeking love in all the wrong places...