a reminder... of God's perfect timing

This morning... I woke impatient... waiting becomes tiresome... especially after years...

Questioning my faith... delayed desire due to my disobedience? ...my brokenness?

Out of bed... straight to my knees... try to cling to the prayer: whatever... fighting emotions... unloved... not enough...

Again... treadmill reading... God shows up with words for waiting... words of patience... and love...

God's sense of timing will confound ours, no matter what culture we're from. His grace rarely operates according to our  schedule. When Jesus looks at Jairus and says "Trust me, be patient," in effect he is looking over Jairus's head at all of us and saying, "Remember how when I calmed the storm I showed you that my grace and love are compatible with going through storms, though you may not think so? Well, now I'm telling you that my grace and love are compatible with what seem to you to be unconscionable delays." It's not "I will not be hurried even though I love you"; it's "I will not be hurried because I love you. I know what I'm doing. And if you try to impose your understanding of schedule and timing on me, you will struggle to feel loved by me." Jesus will not be hurried, and as a result, we often feel exactly like Jairus, impatient because he's delaying irrationally, unconscionably, inordinately.

--- Timothy Keller, King's Cross

(emphasis mine) 

Reminded... again... God's timing is perfect... He has a much bigger plan than I can see... He loves me and will not forsake me... my peace is not found in my circumstances... He is my Peace...

So today... not only for me... but for you...

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullnes of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:16-21